Life — May 25, 1922 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

of | oon de- ‘ion Iree ned up mile join sht's New ac- ‘lan, long not y by the ther | has tions Jack from Mr. most the nown ke to le of is. An Address to the Graduating Class of a Business College Y Dear Young Friends: As your worthy President, Mr. —alh: my dear friend, your Presi- dent, was making the presentation of the gold-mounted typewriter-brush, the thought came to me that I envied you. I envy you your first taste of that noblest of careers—Business; I envy you your opportunity to forge your way ahead in the business world, I have never seen an assembly of young men and women who seemed to me so eager, so intelligent, so sure to succeed and bring certain success to their employers. l only regret that it will be useless for any of you to apply to my own firm for employment, as we only hire experi- enced people. You have read much in the uplifting magazines of how other people have made money ; now you will have an op- portunity to actually see them make money. Your lot may be humble; you may be only a cog in the machinery; but you will have the joy of feeling that even in your modest way you are helping; helping the world of business to do its work and helping your em- ployers to make money. Now I want to give you some definite and practical advice, and I hope you will t it to heart. I have a good many stenographers and bookkeepers working for me, and I am sorry to say that after ten or fifteen or even twenty years they seem to get dissatisfied; they lose the high ideals they started with, and they develop a sordid and grasping spirit, always asking for money—money —money. Now I like to have my office force happy; so if they aren't happy I discharge the’ Why, only last week I was obliged to let a stenographer go who had been with me for eighteen years. She was coming to the office evenings to work j on my new book, “The Glory of Ser- vice.” She made unreasonable demands for more pay; she should have realized | that she could not get as much money from y other firm, because her spe- cialize experience in my office unfitted her for work anywhere else. I had to give her a week's pay and tell her to get out, though it caused me real pain to part with her. In conclusion, I want to give you the Ten Commandments of Business. I Wrote them myself, in one of my odd moments. I make my office force re- cite them every morning before start- “Don’t forget, Mrs. Brownleigh is dining with us to-night.” “Yes. ing work. Be happy; be satisfied; work hard; never complain; save money; get married, if you are a man, for married men are steadier in business; don’t get married, if you are a girl, for married women in an office are always using the telephone ; never overstay the lunch- hour; don’t be always getting sick; and love your employer. Thank you, thank you. M. B. Manners Said Maye» aise to Lobster: “Refrain crustaceous fish Your soft caressing; Remember you're a lobster,— And I,—am dressing.” I must cut the leaves of her latest book.” Liberty HEN a woman talks about Lib- erty, she means if some man would only try to stop her from doing some of the things she knows she doesn’t want to do. * * * When a man talks about Liberty, he means if his wife were visiting her re- lations. x ok * When a bachelor talks about Liberty, he means a drink. * * * We are convinced that Liberty is a great thing for one Irishman—but it won't do for two. LL. S. comicbooks.com