Life — May 25, 1922 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WARNING! Say “Bayer” when you buy Aspirin. Unless you see the name “Bayer” on tablets, you are not getting genuine Aspirin prescribed by physicians over 22 years and proved safe by millions for Headache Toothache Earache Colds Neuralgia Lumbago Rheumatism Neuritis Pain, Pain Accept only “Bayer” package which contains proper directions. Handy “Bayer” boxes of 12 tablets—Also bottles of 24 and 100—Druggists. Aspirin is the trade mark of Bayer Manufacture of Mononceticacidester of Salicylicacid “What's that you say—the doctor pre- scribed whisky for your trouble? Did it help?” “Wonderfully, notwithstanding that the pain is’ worse than ever.” —Karikaturen (Christiania). YOUR OWN CAR and Private Chauffeur are not as Satisfactory or Exped- re ient when touring in Europe as Himoenimler-Hire Ltd., Ps limousine laundalet cars driven For iatorme: by Daimler trained chauffeurs tion apply to to act as guides and interpreters. Pl naire Daimler-Hire Ltd., agency or di- 244 Madison Ave., NewYork City rect to Phone Vanderbilt 8940, HOTEL ASPINWALL LENOX, MASS. High and Cool in the Berkshires ‘A HOTEL OF DISTINCTION Qpens June 17—Golf, Tennis, Saddle Riding, Garage. Desirable Cottages: with Hotel Service. L. A. TWOROGER, Manager Winter Resort, Princess Hotel, Bermuda His Chance Came As the years roll by, each remembers some certain piece of information culled from the autocratic reader of school days. One man remembered the family name of the king of England. For ten years he waited for some one to ask him for this information. Time and again he had the opportunity of volunteering the informa- tion, but he withheld it. He wished some one to ask him, so that he could very casually reply. And then one day his big chance came. “Can any one tell me the family name of ‘the king of England?” some one asked. “I can,” proudly answered the man with the knowledge. “It is Guelph.” “How did you happen to know that?” he was asked. “Just ask me anything, old top, just ask me anything. I’m obligin’. I'll an- swer you any time.” And he got away with it. —Indianapolis News. The Two Versions Jones (in the golf club smoking-room, describing an unusual triumph): Yes, to start with everything was in Smith’s favor. Rub of the green against me, though I was playing a top-hole game. Four down and five to go! And then I finished ab-so- lutely like a tiger; won all the last five holes, and took the beggar’s money, begad! SMitH (simultaneously in the dressing- room): I had Jones boiled to a rag. Four up, I was, and five to go. But then—the bounder’s flukes! Never in all my life have I seen anything like it. Cannons off bunkers, topped approaches, blind putts— all trickling down. To make it worse, the bumptious idiot fairly talked me out of it at the end—London Morning Post. * TeacHer: Why did Joshua command the sun to stand still? Tommy: I guess it didn’t agree with his watch—Boston Transcript. ‘THE CAREY PRINTING CO. Inc. New Yor! One of the New Languages Said Mr. Jones to Mr. Smith: “Wasn't the static fierce last night?” “Was it!” said Mr. Smith to Mr. Jones “T'll say it was! Between the atmospher. ics and the harmonics the resultant jam ming was ghastly. My super-heteradyne receiver went plumb to the bad and | fiddled away hours with the non-inductive | resistance and a veritable inductance.” Said Mr. Jones to Mr, Smith: “TI think I'll have to get a new bevey wire. I haven't had’a synchronous ae for a week that was decent. Queer thing, though. I was listening for sparks about 11 o'clock and switched for continuous wave reception, and who should | pick up but 7X11. Haven't caught him in years” id Mr. Smith to Mr. Jones: “T've come to the notion that my am tenn aren’t reaching high enough, notion is that with a fundamental of 300, excited with a straight gap, I ought to get about anything I want from 33 up. Say, you ain’t got an oscillation transformet among your extras, have you? No? Well, so long, 9GM.” 7 Said Mr. Jones to Mr. Smith: “So long, 4T.”—Toledo Blade. Bobby Was Safe In spite of repeatec warnings from his father, little Bobby persisted in driving nails into blocks and boards. He had ate rived at the play-at-carpenter stage. One morning Dad heard the familiar pounding, and looking out he saw Bobby banging away—his little sister Mary sitting beside him, apparently looking on. “Haven't I told you, Bobby, that you will smash your fingers if you drive nails?” the father asked. “Yes, I know, Dad, but Mary’s holding the nail.”"—Tit-Bits (London). The Reign of Terror “Who reads Dickens now?” an editorial writer inquires. Well, a lot of people read the news from Russia now, and the plot is from Dickens’ “Tale of Two Cities” —Kansas City Star,” Moruer: Bobby, how many times I told you not to beat that drum? Bobby: Six, Mother. fi —Weekly Telegraph (London). © WHITE SULPHUR SPRINGS West Virginia In the high Alleghani Giotous'n Song end Summer for rest an Main Line C. & O. Just overnight from Eastern and Central Western Cities. White Sulphur Springs The Greenbrier. The White 42 Furnished Cottages comicbooks.com