Life — May 4, 1922 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

F Columbus drops in at the Genoa Conference, he’ll have a_ harder time discovering America than he did in 1492. A few more Irish factions (~~ and they’ll have to change that motto from “Ourselves | Alone” to “Every Man for Himself!” —_ | Newspaper-faking is going out of style. Otherwise, the two men who were robbed in an Italian res- taurant would have been found bound with their own spaghetti. Fact that a ten-year-old chess player recently beat three Congressmen proves nothing except it’s lucky for the ten-year-old that chess is not a talking game. aL A “fleet of eighty Fords” is to combat New York crime. Not content with eliminat- ing the cow, they will now supersede the police dog. aL An English speaker says, “American men look up to their women.” He should have added, “From a seat in the subway.” The Eighteenth Amendment ‘to the Constitution of the Lucy Stone League: “Husbands shall put all their property in their wives’ names.” To a Portrait ITH wondering eyes and faint half-timid smile, She bid me pause—and contemplate a while | The generations that have laughed and wept, These years her mortal counterpart has slept. “I am not changed by time, she seemed to say; “Women make the greatest prize fighters,” says a man whose wife belongs to a bridge club. LL Among the latest conveni- ences is a handbag fitted with an electric light. ‘Twill never be popular with the woman who says, “Two hundred years—or was it yesterday, My mortal image breathed and spoke. Whose crait instilled eternal life in me— Is he but dust—or do I hear him say, ‘Now tip your head, and smile, and turn . . “To-day you live—to-morrow others come, And I will smile to them, when you are dumb. Return my smile, and I will know you know I link the present with the long ago.” And he .this way’? “T’ve got it right here.” JL be Be €; -L - The flapper’s idea of looking pleasant before the camera is to throw one leg across the other. -L A correspondent writes that Brisbane’s Weekly is dis- tinctly mediocre. Say rather, yellow ochre. LL Among the chief causes of insanity may be mentioned gasoline, and an over-use of the word “meticulous. LL Jack Dempsey, departing for Europe, announced that among other things he in- tended to clean up Ger- many. Apparently Mr. Dempsey wishes to continue | the impression that he | never even heard of the | war. | Why should we resist temp- tation; there will always be more, —L There is little use to talk about your child to any- body; other people either have one or haven't. After all, there is good precedent for the contention that the matron should not assume her husband's name. No one dreams of calling a | The Tacoma authorities who hope to make their city a second Reno will undoubtedly adopt for a civic motto: “Tacoma Divorce.” -L “Ghosts won’t answer unless sum- moned,” says a psychist. Perhaps spirit etiquette forbids them to spook until spoken to. LL What is so rare as a day in June? Well, the fifteenth, when the second instalment of the income tax is due, might be a great deal rarer. Love still makes the world go round, but Prohibition makes it go round the corner. . aL Now that the Episcopal Church has cut down the ten commandments and left out the word “obey,” won’t someone call attention to the dangers of married life? L New York is getting so crowded that pretty soon we shall have to stand in line before being robbed. cow “Mrs. Bull”; and though her mate is a Fox, the female of the species remains a Vixen. “Hoboken policeman slain —five ar- rested.” This must account for the whole force. —L British government reports for 1921 show a twelve per cent. decrease in liquor consumption in England. This, of course, may be due to the fact that so many of our visiting lecturers didn’t go home until last December. comicbooks.com