Life — April 20, 1922 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

nation of fatigue and motor nerves, due to the constant shock of rough or uneven roads upon the spine, the Woman of Fashion abroad and at home depends upon the Hoo-Dye method of control of the car springs which compels her car to move with drawing-room steadiness, and brings her to the end of her motoring day in starting freshness. Hoo-Dye equipped car rides on a liquid cushion. Put them on your car today. If motoring wearies you or makes tired nerves, send for our book iffcct the Nervous System” by R. Ride easy with Hoo-Dye (HOUDAILLE ) HOO-DYE SHOCK ABSORBERS | ou conscious of your “How Motoring Shocks Kendrick Smith, -D.D.O., one of America’s foremost physicians and osteo- paths. For your own health’s sake you should have a copy —send for it today and learn the health way of motoring. i Hydraulic Shock Absorbers. Tue Hovpaitie Company, 1418 West Ave., Buffalo, N. Y. Manufactured by the Houde Engineering Corp. Canadian Dist.: Canadian Fairbanks Morse Co., Ltd., Montreal The Hoo-Dyeis regular equip: ment_on the majority of the finest foreign cars, and in this country it is standard equipment on Cunninghams, while many thousands have been applied to. Pack- ards, Pierce - Arrows, Cadillacs, _Studebakers, Mercers,, Hudsons, Buicks ‘and other of America’s best cars. Call Tel-U-Where for Our Nearest Distributor HYDRAULIC Aunt Mandy’s Code In Georgia they tell of the old black cook who was horrified to discover that one of the young negroes, a helper in the kitchen, had been caught stealing. “Now,” said Aunt Mandy, “I don’t be- lieve in stealin’, J never takes nothin’, *cept it’s something to eat, or somethin’ to wear, or somethin’ what I thinks de missus don’t want, or somethin’ de boss is got too blind to miss !”—Harper’s. -+6/ TOBACCO f we POUCH K EEPS TOBACCO RIGHT | pocane, opens easily or || closes tight at pull of tip | across top of pouch. No) buttons or strings. Made from soft leathers durably lin: Sold at cigar, drug, de- parbment | and leather |, goodsstores |) If dealer cannot Suede poy | Rubber Lined Dopalar size. Made and Fully Guaranteed by F.S. MILLS CO., Inc., Gloversville, N.Y. The “Educational” Zoo A friend asked me to accompany him to the zoo on a Sunday afternoon. Much against my wishes, I went. Urged by a desire to know what people really think who stand before the cages, staring at the helpless victims within, I sauntered quietly from one group to another, lis- tening to their comments. The following are a few of the remarks overheard: “The lion doesn’t look much like the king of beasts; he seems cowed to death.” “Oh, look at the monkeys; they look so sad—like heartbroken old men. Isn't | it comical?” (Business of laughing.) “Wouldn’t his skin make a lovely coat?” “Gee! what a dandy shot! I wish they allowed you to kill things in here.” “Mother, that old bear looks sad. Is he sorry about something?” “Oh no, dear, that is his natural ex- pression. Animals have no feelings.” “Oh, Edward, look at Margie. She is trying to cut off the end of that mon- key’s tail. Isn’t she the cutest thing?” “Y’ve always thought a panther was a ferocious beast, but this one doesn’t seem io have spirit enough to lick a poodle log.” Little girl feeding peanuts to a monkey: “Daddy, if we come out next Sunday, will he remember me?” “Certainly not; monkeys have no minds or memories.” —D. L. W., in Our Dumb Animals. Johnny’s History Was wait until the fighting tops of our last condemned battleship sink beneath the waves before going through little Johnny's school history with a fine-tooth comb and disarming that too? For in its dog-eared pages still lurk, like submarines beneath the peaceful seas of commerce, phrases of rude seamen that are sadly out of joint with the times. When we bent over the scarred pine desk in the little old red schoolhouse at the crossroads, those phrases, we admit with shame, thritled us as we read them, but now we trein ble at the sinister thought that little Johnny’s eyes may rest on them to-mor- row unless we act quickly and ruth. lessly. For we must remember that little Johnny is not so well versed as we in the noble issues of the Conference on the Limitation of Armaments. To him the Big Three were Harvard, Yale and Princeton, and when France came into the compact the Big Four were Tyrus Cobb, Babe Ruth, Rogers Hornsby and Tris Speaker. And it should be done tactfully, too, if we hope to rob little Johnny of the thrill that was ours when we first read that Captain Lawrence, dying on the deck of the ill-fated Chesa- peake in the fight with the Shannon, raised his mangled body and shouted out the order: “Don't give up the ship!” Then there is the horrible example of one John Paul Jones. With the Bon Homme Richard leaking from the fire of the Serapis and the Alliance, half of his crew dead or wounded, the decks swarming with mutinous prisoners and but three guns fit to fire, that piratical hero bellowed back in answer to the de- MADISON AVE., 43rd TO 44th STREETS NEW YORK Tea in the Palm Room Dancing in the Supper Room OF BRAINS IGARS “MADE AT KEY WEST~ FOR_g’MEN man begu want a pit ment Wall boot! M Ame who bile ahea ble o boori ties ¢ comicbooks.com