Life — April 13, 1922 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Lend me a match,” requested an actor out of a job to an acquaintance he en- countered on Broadway. “What for?” asked the other, mystified, as he glanced at the smokeless mouth of his friend. “I want to light one of your cigarettes,” was the answer. —New York Morning Telegraph. No Percentage First Ex-DoucHpoy: What are you going to do with your Federal compensa- tion, if we get it? Seconp Ex-DoucusBoy: Pay the money I'll owe on the bets that we wouldn't. —American Legion Weekly. A Word of Warning Letter to a Tennessee school official : “Sir: I heare you are thinking of hire- ing Miss —— to teach in a school. My advice is to don’t hire her. She can't spell katt.”—Nashville Tennessean. Why Not, Indeed? Overheard in the Metropolitan Museun of Art: “Aren't these Chinese mandarin coats marvelous! And those temple sets! And the little ivory curios! The Chinese are a wonderful people! Do you suppos they have their own museums with oy , things hung up and labeled: ‘Dress suit worn by a New York Assemblyman at ay I East Side reception,’ ‘Baby carriage from Pennsylvania, ‘Thermos bottle used by Brooklynites on a picnic, ‘Bathing suits worn at Coney Island’? Why not?” —Outlook, Revived “What does you want to eat?” asked the old colored mammy of the traveler, “Corn pone,” said the traveler. “Ise glad you said corn pone,” said the old lady, “’cause it’s the one thing | aint got anything else on hand of but.’ —Toledo lade, Lotus Flour Used Sign on a Japanese bakery wagon in Yokohama: “Tommy Tokoyama, Biggest Loafer in Town.’—Honolulu Star-Bulletin. POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE HE: Jen’s a nice girl even though she “AreN’T a good many of his transactions a trifle irregular?” “Not for him.”—Kansas City Star. Irate Mother: ll larn yer! Throw rice on the Princess, would yer, when it was meant for yer farver’s curry! —Passing Show (London). is _a bootlegger’s daughter. Him: Yes, I know it—I had a case on her once—Yale Record. Lire is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. Title registered in U. S. : Off $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage. to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.60 a year; to Cana numbers cannot be supplied. ; | The text and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain agely. to Lire, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Fetter Patent, Office. , 80 cents. Back Lane, London, E. ingland. Breams Buildings, London, E. C. 386-388 St. James Street,’ Montreal, Canada, The foreign trade supplied from Lire’s London Office, Rolls Hous, >. Canadian distributor, J. R. ‘Tanguay No contributions will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. L1rE does not hold itself responsible for the loss ot non-return of unsolicited contributions. Notice of change of address should reach this office two wecks prior to the date of issue to be affected. O MATTER what kind of a job they have been put up against, Pennsylvania Quality Mowers have more than met every requirement. Their record shows longest, most satisfactory service, least upkeep cost and greatest dura- bility in lawn mower history. Five Pennsylvania Quality Mowers driven by tractor will cut 60 to 80 acres per day. Pennsylvania GOLF; closest cutting for putting greens, tennis courts and > fine lawns. Pennsylvania "RIO; atime and labor saver for solf course, pat large estates. inch swath. Exclusive features, self-sharpen- ing, crucible, tool steel blades, automobile type ball bearings, selected material and specialized manufacturing processes assure the most satisfactory and the most economical service, Write for “Pennsylwania TRIO Book” PENNSYLVANIA LAWN MOWER WORKS, Inc. 1625 N. 23rd St., Philadelphia [A around the Vediterranean, T often has been suggested that one of our popu~ lar Mediterranean Cruises, if scheduled for July and August, would be taken advantage of by many whose annual vacation occurs during the summer months. It is especially to meet the wishes of this large, influential and cultured class, that we have arranged for 1922 a most enchanting summer cruise to and about the fascinatingly interesting lands border- ing this famous sea, sailing from New York by specially chartered new Cunard Anchor Liner “TUSCANIA”’—July 5 returning Sept. 6. The itinerary covers MADEIRA—LISBON—GIBRALTAR (for Granada) —MALAGA—MONACO, (for Monte Carlo and Nice)—GENOA (Overland Tours to the Passion Play at Oberammergau, Switzerland, Italian Lakes, Florence, Rome, etc.—rejoining the Cruise at Venice)—NAPLES (for Pompeii and Vesuvius) —FIUME (for Abbazzia)—VENICE— ATHENS (Phaleron Bay)—Passing through the DARDA- NELLES—CONSTANTINOPLE—BEYROUT (for Baalbek and Damascus)—HAIFA (for Nazareth, Tiberias and Jerusalem) JAFFA (for Jerusalem, etc.) ALEXANDRIA (for Cairo), ete. THOS. COOK & SON 245 Broadway, New York Los Ancien Phan, PaSeoaro Vancouver Cook’s Travelers’ Cheques Good Everywhere 150 Offices Throughout the World QO comicbooks.com