Life — April 6, 1922 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE =; Leaving No Stone Unturned EMINISM’S strong band, organized under the name of the Lucy Stone League, is resolved that the identity of the wife shall not be merged in that of the husband. Henceforth the matron will retain her maiden name. And here is what it means to be Lucy Stoned: . Lucy Stoned Felipa Moniz de Perestrello Martha Dandridge Mary Todd Victoria Guelph Gladys Smith Marie Rose Josephine Tascher de la Pagerie Catherine the Great Lydia Pinkham Mrs, Winslow Mrs. Malaprop Th e D Such is the edict. Only Her Husband’s Name * Christopher Columbus George Washington Abraham Lincoln Albert Wettin Douglas Fairbanks Napoleon Bonaparte Legion (Russian, not American.) Mr, Pinkham Mr. Winslow Henry Ford ay of Rest Clothes and the Man O clothes make the man, or does man make the clothes? Timothy Needleton, being bachelor and iconoclast, would admit that man made the clothes. The outer clothes, he conceded, might have some influence in making the man. But beyond mere appearances their importance ceased, For the purpose of Mrs. Gohard’s din- ner party, his time-honored, veteran dinner jacket would look easily as neat as anybody's. True, its lining was in tatters, but a few long pieces of white adhesive tape kept the loose fringe out of sight. Then his waistcoat was held together nicely in back by large safety pins. His cuffs were kept at the proper height by strong hemp cord. So that after trimming the frayed edge of his stiff bosom shirt with a razor, and put- ting on his coat, Timothy Needleton appeared the very personification of “The Well-Dressed Man.” “One never takes one’s coat off ata dinner party,” he assured himself. “I sha’n't, no matter what happens.’ The dinner was almost uneventful. 3ut Mrs. Gohard was mortified that her waitress should have spilt salad dressing down Mr. Needleton’s Jvack. She must needs insist that he let the maid take his coat and wash out the oil before it left a permanent. stai “NO!” cried Needleton, clutching desperately at his coat. “My mother left me a secret recipe that takes out spots. My coat can wait till I get home. Bravely spoken, perhaps, but the shock had killed his nerve. He could no longer look anyone in the face. Pro- truding safety pins and fringes of tat- tered lining haunted his imagination. His clothes, even his unseen, neglected clothes, made him a coward. He would leave right after coffee. “But Mr. Needleton,” insisted An- gelica Gohard, “we absolutely need you for charades.” The word was to be Dignity. “DIG- KNIT-TEA,” Angelica announced in whispered conference. “It’s easy to act Dignity.” Needleton threw out his chest. .\fter all, except for the spot on his back, was perfect in outward appearanc “Tl pour TEA for the last sylle continued Angelica. “Now for DIG, Mr. Needleton is to take his coat off, roll up his cuffs, and swing this pickax —won’'t it be funny?” “You'll have to excuse me,” stam- mered Needleton in the midst of a cold chill, “my doctor strictly forbids ex- ercise—my heart, you know.” comicbooks.com