Life, 1922-03-30 · page 32 of 34
Life — March 30, 1922 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Life* magazine contains several short humor pieces typical of early 20th-century satirical journalism: **"The Bookish Boy"** mocks a child who has absorbed too much historical romance fiction, speaking in affected archaic language ("Hist, mother!") to a confused shopkeeper about buying cigarettes. **"The Dancing Lesson"** satirizes a wife attempting to teach her husband a dance step; he sarcastically notes she sounds like his old army sergeant—a jab at nagging spouses and emasculation anxiety common to the era. **"Above Par"** jokes about stock speculation: a boy brags he "rose three points" in school, but his speculator father initially misunderstands, thinking he means financial gains. **Other brief pieces** include mild mockery of gossip ("Opportunity Rings"), gender confusion on telephones, and a tenant farmer's inarticulate toast. The page is primarily **advertising** (Tarrant's laxatives, Longines watches, cruise lines), with humor serving as content filler—typical *Life* magazine format from this era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TNRRANTS puter nal Cleanliness Brings! Radiant Health LIFE - FOOLISH The Bookish Boy Children are very impressionable. A lit- tle boy had been reading The Fair Maid of Perth, or some such historical work of fiction, and he was standing disconsolately one day in front of a tobacco shop. “Sonny, ye look troubled,” an old woman said. “Anythin’ I can do for ye?” “Hist, mother!” And the urchin grandiloquently placed a penny in her withered hand. “Mother, old mother,” he went on, “thou canst indeed be of signal service, an’ thou wilt. Seest yon tobacco shop? Then take thee this bronze coin, and bid the churl within to give thee a cigarette, and eke a match therefor. Be secret, mother, and bewray me not, or thy old blood shall answer for’t. I will await thee here. And now, beldame, begone!” —London Opinion. Such an Odd World In Chicago they tell of a fascinating young married woman who, jn the ab- THE DANCING LESSON Exasperated Wife: My dear man, you learnt to drill in the army; why, ‘can’t you pick this up? It's a perfectly simple step. Anyone would think you were mentally deficient. Husband: Almost the Sergeant's own words, dear. —Reproduced from Punch (London) __by arrangement with the proprietors. KENNEREC BOA’ ND CANOE 00. 43 RR. Square, Waterville. Maine, “SAFEST TO USE” | sence of her husband, received much at- | tention from an old admirer. One evening | the latter ventured to become reminiscent. “Ah,” he sighed. “If only you had mar- ried_me instead of Babcock.” “Then I should have been with Mr, Bab- cock at this very moment instead of with you,” answered the fascinating one. “How strangely things turn out!” —American Legion Weekly. | In a Pinch, use ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE Above Par The teacher had a system of marking her young pupils one point for each cor- rect answer. Little Johnny, the son of a stock specu- lator, happened to have an_ especially lucky day, knowing the answers to all the questions he was asked, and as he came home he called out happily : “Just think, papa, 1 rose three points !"—Die Muskete (Vienna). The Second Reading FaTHER: line? Daucuter: A novel, father, “The Heart of a Poor Girl.” “"Umph! The usual rubbish, I pose.” “Yes, dad. It’s a book you presented to mother years ago.”—IVesleyan Advance. What are you reading, Caro- sup- Opportunity Rings Confession is good for the soul, says the Jewell Republican, One of our good was asked, “Is this Mrs. Blank I’m not,” she replied. “but I might been.”—Kansas City Star. ring, “No, ha Saving Him Pain Boy (to his dad): Dad, can you sign your name with your eyes shut? His Dap: Certainly. _Boy: Well, then, shut your eyes and sign my report card.—Boys’ Magasine. Mrs. JAMESON: awful story they tell about her? - Mrs. Jounson: Of course I do! .. What is Kasper (Stockholm). Do you believe that entitled | ladies, on being called on the wrong phone | cugines a atches Standard of the World Cluaranteed for Generations At the close of the shooting season the keepers and beaters of some estates look forward to the game supper which crowns their labors. On one ducal estate the story is told of a tenant farmer who was called upon at such a feast to propose the toast of the evening, in honor of the owner. But words failed him. painful pause he broke out with, “Damme! I'd as lief be shot by him as anyone!" with which unique compliment his speech hegan and ended. —Londc The Boy De:ective Hevrrut Sma Boy: I beg your don, sir, but your car was. stolen ten minutes ago. Car Owner: Well, why didn't raise an alarm and stop the thieves Boy: I never thought of that, sir: but it’s all right—I took the number of the car.—Punch, His Name in Full He is a negro boy eleven years of age. He peddles fish from a pushcart in Free- port, L. 1. “What is your name?” woman customer. “Mose, mostly,” he replied, maiden name is Captain.” ew York Evening Post. Morning I'ost. par- about you asked a kindly “but mah Mummy and Poppy TEACHER: Junior: a mummy What is a mummy? A mummy is—a mummy is— is a poppy’s Youngstown Telegram. CLARK’S CRUISES by C. P.R. STEAMERS Clark’s 3rd Cruise, January 23, 1923 ROUND THE WORLD Superb 8S “EMPRESS of FRANCE” 18481 Gross Tons, Specially Chartered 4 MONTHS CRUISE, $1000 and up Including Hotels, Fees, Drives, Guides, ete. _{lark’s 19th Cruise, February 3 IEDITERRANE: te Semnpesone, SS “EMPRESS of SCOTLAND” Gross Tons, Special; aa Chartered Hotels, Fees, Diner, Gi 7 ete. Palestine, pela. Itah reece, C2. stop-overs all cruises. Europe and Passion Play Parties, $100 up Frank C. Clark, Times Building, New York. comicbooks.com well agi fall Nev T amu pop A moy the lent