Life — March 16, 1922 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HAT is really needed in Wash- ington, in the estimation of busi- ness, is a House of Pepresentatives. aL If the dodo would move over a bit, the chaperon could find room among the rest of the antiquities. Whoever owns the New York Evening Post, its future is bound to be rosy. It is on the sunny side of Vesey Street. -L It was certain from the mo- ment Judge Landis became associated with baseball that it would be impossible to keep such an active man on the bench, aL President Harding has in- stalled a radio outfit in the White House. The next thing in politics will be wire- less-pulling. JL The bone-dry régime is to be followed by the bonus-dry treasury. aL Critics are rising to the de- fense of Benedict Arnold, citing his loyalty to George III as his great redeeming quality. In other words, that was his Tory and he stuck to him. aL New York is talking of tear- ing down its Elevated tracks, Razing L, so to speak. aL Golden eagles, reports an English contemporary, have increased in the Scottish Highlands. And the national tradition of thrifti- ness goes merrily on. JL Oppenheim has Name one. JL Some of the opposition to Mrs. Sanger may be due to a fear that less than one a minute would be bad for bucket-shop business. E.Phillips seventy novels. written aL The geographies still insist that the United states is in the temperate zone. Cockney (fishing on St. Patrick’s Day): *Arry, yer don’t suppose I’ve gone an’ caught a “erring Why doesn’t some enterprising inven- tor get busy on an ireless telephone? The problem no longer is fitting square pegs in round holes. It is adjusting curved flasks to oblong pockets. go bragh wot yer ear so much abaht, do yer? Some people don’t even know that the war isn’t over. “Women in China never kiss. They'll tell you the same thing here, too. JL A week is the longest distance between two pay-days. The Stock Exchange has come out for the closed bucket shop. JL Now, if Luther Burbank would only produce a seedless catalogue. Blarst me, Many are called, but the operator sel- dom gets the right number. aL The boss has quit using paper cups the office since his last supply of re Scotch ate holes in a couple of them aL Advice to would-be movie stars: Don’t take any Holly- wooden money ! JL In the judgment of a certain preacher, New York different to the Straton row path. s in nar- aL It is reported that the boot- leggers closed their places of business for five minutes on the recent anniversary of the passing of John Barleycorn aL Police who raided a Cleve- land medium’s séance arrested a thinly attired “ghost.” Prob- ably the spirit of undrest. aL Every summer for three years, says an official “bird-watcher” has been on duty in a_ solitary hut at the extremity of the Shetland Islands. Eventually, he expects to discover just why a chicken crosses the road. -L St. Patrick drove the snakes from Ireland and they bless him. Volstead drives the snakes from the United States and— JL What New York would like to say, and can't, is “Hylan fare-well.” JL He who laughs last is suspected of be- ing an Englishman, aL Of the million who use the subway daily, only sixty put metal slugs in the fare slot. This indicates a serious shortage of slugs. -L You get the morning sun in the new wing at Sing Sing. But the perfect apartment still doesn’t exist—they are complaining that the doors stick. thirty- Answers, comicbooks.com