Life — March 9, 1922 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

30 ®uY DIAMONDS DET From JASON WEILER & SONS, Boston, Mass. One of America’s leading diamond importers and save 20 te 40 per_cont. nears tall en. For_over 45 years the house of Jason Weller & Sons Of Boston has been one of the leading diamond m= porting con- cerns in Amer- fea selling to jewelers. How- ever, & large! business is done direct. by mail. with cus- tomers at_Im- to you 1 Carat, $145.00 by mail—which| this one carat diamond is of fine clearly proves] prilliancy and perfectly cut. Mount- our | position jed in Tiffany style 14K. solid gold to name prices|setting. Order this diamond, take It oie itmonds| to any jeweler and if he says hat should! he duplicated for less than $2 4 st!send it back and your money be returned at once without auibble. Our price direct $145 00) to_ you PRICES ON OTHER DIAMOND RINGS carat. carat carat. 4 carat. carat. 1% carats 5 2° carats . 3 carats . Money refunded if these diamonds can pur chased elsewhere for less than one-third more. Prices vary according to style of mountings. "Si our free catalog illustrat ing all the latest sty’ Rings, | Brooches, dants, Earrings, ete. ‘OS pe mond pu chaser’ Diamond Ring $200.00 | Perfectly cut blue white \aiamond ‘of fine bril- y. Set in all plati Ring richly carved and ‘pierced. | | | | Ladies’ All-Platinum | Pen- We refer you as to our reliability to any bank or newsp2per in Boston at desired. rings will be examination. mond guarantee for full all time goes y purchase, WRITE TODAY FOR THIS DIAMONDS This book is beauti- ‘Tells how they mine, cut_and market dia- monds. gives we and “pric Non De of piamands. A copy will be mailed to you FREE on recelpt of your name and address Jason Weiler & Sons 371 Washington St., Boston, Mass. Diamond Importers since 1876 Foreign Agencies: London, Amsterdam and Parls | weather. Number, Please? The man who had struck one of those rare not-so-very-prohibition parties and didn’t want to leave it had made two un- | successful attempts to get into the tele- phone booth, the third time negotiating it like a ferry going into a strange slip. He | dropped his nickel in. | “H'llo, h'llo, h’'llo,” he cried. “Say, gimme Line’s Busy, thassa good girl. H'llo, whassat? Line’s busy? Aw right.” He staggered out. “Lord knows I tried to get her any- way,” he murmured. —American Legion Weekly. Cuttup Patient (extremely fat) : Doc- tah, does yuh cure yoh patients for so much a day, or so much a trip—or how does you cure ‘em? Cuttup Doctor (looking him over): 1 cures ’em—ah—I cures em by weight— for so much a pound. —Nashville Tennessean, > LIFE - OUR_ CON MPOR ARIES FOG Ambrose = I murdered Ambrose Alwaysright, By request, on Monday night. Ambrose was a male monstrosity, Simply oozing with pomposity. He was very avaricious, Mean, unmanly, and malicious. He used everyone. He used All the people he abused. He would dine with A— on Sunday And abuse the man on Monday. In a Grill Room he would grumble, You would pay and he would fumble. Decency he would resent And dismiss as “sentiment,” So I killed him. When committed I was instantly acquitted. When acquitting me, the Judge Did not, hesitate or budge. “Smith,” he said, “how good your nerve is; You’ve performed a_ public service. Come and dine to-night; another Alwaysright (the dead man’s brother) Will be there, at eight o’clock——” I nodded as I left the dock. —G. D., in Westminster Gazette. “What, Never?— The revival of “Pinafore” in London recalls a good old story. Once “Pina- fore” became a favorite in London, after its initial failure, everybody began saying, “What, never?—Well, hardly ever!” One morning a ‘stern London editor called his staff together and delivered the following oration: “Now, listen; I never want that damned expression used in this paper again. In yesterday's issue it oc- curred by actual count twenty times in as many articles.” Thereupon a staff voice from nowhere in particular piped up: “What, never?” The editor surrendered. “Well, hardly ever,” he replied, and left the room—New York Evening Post. Impossible! “What you need is exercise,” said a citizen to a friend who was under the “Come with me and get ac- quainted with the medicine ball.” They went to a gymnasium, and the patient saw the medicine ball. “Great heavens, man,” he said, “I can’t swallow that thing!"—Toronto Telegram. Deeds, Not Words Said the defendant, by way of explana- tion, “If I’d the money I'd have paid the debt a month ago. “Ah,” interrupted the Plaintiff, “that's all very well, your honor, but if aunt had four wheels, she might have been an omnibus.”—Tit-Bits (London). Pertinacity “My husband doesn’t believe everything I tell him any more.’ “Well then, don’t tell him anything.” “Would you believe it, he’d still be sus- picious.”—Sans-Géne (Paris). The Decisive Factor Eruet: Their parents made the match. Tom: I thought they opposed it. Erne: Yes, that’s how they made it. *—Boston Transcript. “Proressor, did you stop smoking in re- cent years?” “No, I’m a born non-smoker.” —Karikaturen (Christiania). | writing two books at the same time. Corns Lift Off with the Fingers Doesn’t hurt a bit! Drop a little “Freezone” on an aching corn, instantly that corn stops hurting, then shortly you lift it right off with fingers. Your drug- gist sells a tiny bottle of “Freezone” for a few cents, sufficient to remove every hard corn, soft corn, or corn between toes, and calluses, without pain, soreness. Discreet Two ladies in Co. Galway, of ancient lineage but little of this world’s goods, were asked to a card party at a nobleman’s mansion, and driven there by their only remaining servant—an aged butler of their better times—in a donkey cart. The but- ler was told to return for them at mid- night. He did, and, finding the card-room door ajar, pushed in his head and said: “Miss Jane, Miss Jane, the thing you know is at the door.” —London Morning I’vst. That’s Wells One thing about H. G. Wells—he strives to please. He is reported to be one entitled “The Wonderful New Era,” the other, “Horrors of the Next War. —Kansas City Star. sTanor Albemarle Le Asheville, N.C is the time to visit this charming English Inn in the glorious “Land of the Sky.” An all year re- sort for pleasure and sport exclusively. Perfect Golf in a Perfect Climate. Write for Booklet ““L"*. Albert H. Malone, Mor. Th America-~ An English Inn comicbooks.com