Life — March 9, 1922 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HE superdreadnaught has become the scrapital ship. L It is hoped Congress will not adjourn without ratifying a treaty of peace with Senator Borah. JL An oil well in California Since his retirement from Congress Senator Kenyon has become a regular chip off the old bloc. Motto for theatregoers: “Better never than late.” The “John F. Hylan for Presideat” boom is under way. After Hizzoner has gone through the formality of being elected and inaug- urated, the motto of this country may be changed from “E Pluribus Usum” to “Hearst Come, ! lcarst Served.” is reported to be spouting fish. Must be a cod liver oil well. aL The trouble with young men nowadays is that they take a job with the idea of working up from the bottom to a position of irresponsibility. Vassar says woman is fifty years ahead of man. Well, the villain still pur- sues her. New Haven reports a change in the cut of men’s I Remember JL I REMEMBER, I remember the place where I was born, President MacCracken of The window where the city’s noise came rumbling in at morn, The iodine and ether and every other smell. You can’t be born at home these days, it really isn’t swell; - | But Grandma says her mother was born up on a hill | Ten miles from any doctors, and she is living still, And my great-uncle’s uncle will be ninety-six in May, And he was born upon a ranch from doctors far away, And Nursie says her Grandma, the one that went to sea, aL hair. | Had triplets on the ocean that lived to ninety-three, Something new in Yale iL. | As the housing situation grows more strained, the sousing situation does likewise. JL ; Why not take a Fall out’ of the Cabinet and put Volstead in as Secretary of the Interior? aL They say we'll have an- | And when she’s asked where I was born she gives a sort of groan | long to locks, no doubt. | And says “Was that the doorbell or did I hear the phone?” Beatrice Herford. | aL Now that E. Phillips Op- penheim has arrived, won't somebody engage Madi- son Square Garden and pit him against Robert WV, Chambers in a Seven Day Novel-Writing Race aL Europe seems to think it will take a U. S. repre- sentative to complete | Genoa’s are. What about the future supply of aldermen? Ire- land no longer exports her raw material. All the records do not be- modern Someone once fired a shot that was heard round the world without the aid of Hollywood and the racio- telephone. times, aL A former prizefighter has been admitted to Harvard. Here’s where the Har- vard “a” gets flattened for good and all. aL The Mayor and the movie other Ice Age in about seventeen thousand years. The Government had better hurry up and appoint a Glacier Commission. aL The trouble with America is that it’s so dry. The trouble with Russia is that it’s soviet. Let us hope there is an end to this Shantung wagging. aL The man whose answer to the Edison questionnaire was graded AA must certainly know watts watt. A. J. Beveridge has announced his in- tention of again becoming a United States Senator. With a name like that he ought to have one-half of one chance in a hundred. aL Brevity is the soul of wit. Aren't the present skirt styles the funniest-look- ing things? aL Evidently, the Indian non-co-operative party thinks this Mohandas person is the Gandhi kid. magnates of Hollywood have sent: out a statement to the country denying that their city is a “sink of iniquity.” Why not change the name to “Holy- wood,” and shut up? JL Short skirts are with us to stay for five years, says a prophet. If they are here to stay five years, why not longer? aL “T have put two and two together many times,” mused the sign-painter, “but it always comes out twenty-two.” comicbooks.com | A ant oo