Life — March 2, 1922 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OTTO of the New York land- lords: To the evicters belong the spoils. aL In these depressing times even a man’s private stock is usually watered. JL Multitudes, it is said, favor the soldiers’ bonus. In fact, their name is Legion. dL There is a new plan afoot to The Russian -Soviet Government is organizing a sugar trust, the idea be- ing, presumably, to keep it sweet and low. —L You can drive a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. And you can drive the United States to water, but you can’t make it stop drinking. limit the speed of taxicabs to fifteen miles an hour, Ex- cept, of course, when turn- ing corners, JL Good-by kisses are taboo in Chicago railway stations be- cause they delay trains. They figure a kiss is as good as a mile. JL “The Genoa Conference is looked forward to with great optimism,” says a press dis- patch. By everyone, presumably, ex- cept the interpreters. aL The young man who sudden- ly comes into possession of a few thousand dollars may soon find that there are brokers ahead. aL The Flapper’s Anthem: Homme, Sweet Homme. for a spell. Hoover favors blanket in- surance, says a dispatch from Washington. A policy to protect you in case the sheets come loose would also have its good points. aL The cruelest sign in the world, it is said, is posted back-stage in a vaudeville theatre in Texas. “Artists will please not send out their laundry,” it reads, “until the management has seen their act.” JL “Quebec will pay its public debt in twenty years,” says an Associated Press dispatch. . How long will it take to pay off its debt to Volstead? cold molasses. An Ar An Or At the rate things are going, it js xe figured, in another ten years Il be Yo erecting statues to the more prominen, | bootleggers. cs iad Do Slogan for bootleggers—“Lashed bu; Or Not Leashed” An F ~ = An Banks to Build Tunnels for Use of An Messengers.—Headliiic, By No use trying to do busines BF; on the level. An aL The moving picture colony in California seems de mined to turn itseli sin: out. Do UL An Scenario writers always— 4" make a short story long. Or IL An An article in the New York FOF Times states that “the West An flatly denies that it is trying J O° to boss the East.” Obviously because it doesn't ‘ have to try. ” le Present-day politics consists of our side, the wrong side and a fence e . wt Wh First Washington, then Bj.) Genoa. “Half a league, half a league, half a league on- Local Gossip ARA TIBBY went to Hartford to visit Nellie Anna She didn’t much want to go, leavin’ Cal to shift fer himself; Cal being so lazy, she was worried he wouldn’t hey gumption enough to git enough to eat. Wall, the fust day she gut there, Nellie Anna took her to a movie show and they wuz showin’ some of those new-fangled pictures where every move is as slow as Sara looked at ’em fer a spell kinder chokin’ up, an’ finally she bust right out cryin’. She said they reminded her of Cal, an’ they made her so hum- sick she .couldn’t stand it. She gut hum in time to git Cal’s supper fer him. The Darwinian theory is on trial again. A bill has been introduced in the Ken- tucky legislature to bar it from the schools, and Dr. John Roach Straton has hurled his Olympian wrath against the repulsive notion that men are de- scended from monkeys. If we could only get an opinion on the subject from the monkeys! ward.” aL A history of Civilization in America: Windsor Chair— Rocking Chair — Morris Chair—Chaise Longue. JL No stage director is a hero to his ballet. IL “At the cinema one is often struck by the superiority of the acting of children and animals over that of adults’ —Movie Critic. Evidently they cannot understand the director. IL You certainly have your nerve right with you when you go to a dentist. aL The one-way traffic cop of the uni verse—Charon, comicbooks.com