Life — January 19, 1922 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE The Law and the Ladies A. E. Thomas SCENE—A New York Courtroom. TIME—1035. RS. J. JANET FOOTLE is on the witness stand. She is under cross- examination as the defendant in a suit for divorce. It should be hastily explained that in 1931 a law has been enacted making Anything a ground for divorce if it can be proved. An all-woman jury is trying the case, under the same new law, before a woman judge, lest the quality of mercy should be strained. “She sent him flowers, opera tickets and silk hats.” COUNSELESS : this man? DEFENDANT: CoUNSELESS : DEFENDAN’ CouNSELEs: DEFENDAN COoUNSELES: DEFENDA Now, Mrs. Footle, when did you first meet I think it was at half-past four. Ah, yes. And what day of the week? The fifth of July. How do you fix the date? It was the day I became a blonde. Are you a Presbyterian? No, I’m a Psycho-Analyst. COouNSELES: In other words, an old-fashioned woman. Derenpant: Not at all. Merely a conservative. Cou You still smoke? DeFenpantT: Yes. I don’t enjoy it, but I believe in keep- ing up the old traditions. CounsELEss (to the Court): Now, Your Honoress, as we are coming to some highly delicate matters, I request the Court to ask all gentlemen to leave the courtroom. + Tue Jupcess: Quite right. All the gentlemen in the courtroom will kindly leave at once. (The court is packed with men but only one goes out.) Proceed, Counseless, all the gentlemen have gone. CounseLess: Now, Mrs. Footle, the complaint charges that you have contributed nothing to your husband’s - support for the last three years, What do you say to that? DerennanT: It’s false. | sent him 700,000 rubles from Russia. CounsELEss: In our money, two dollars and forty-seven cents. Do you call that sup- porting him? DeFenpantT: All he had to do was to wait till the rate of exchange went up. CounseLess: Who do you think he — Methuselah ? No, you deliberately went “Did you expect him to seclude himself like a monk?” Counseless for the plaintiff proceeds: “When I started away he was a prosperous bootlegger.” gallivanting around the world, leaving your husband flat, DEFENDANT: I was not to blame. When I started away he was a prosperous bootlegger with an income of $3,000 a day. He had a magnificent suite of offices in the West Thirtieth Street police station and a fleet of Scotch whisky trucks making hourly arrivals at Madison Square Garden from Canada. How was I to know that he would be put out of business by the invention of the pocket still that is now in every home in the country ? CounsELess: It was your business to provide for his future. You know how helpless men are. Why did you leave him? Di ANT: I objected to the attentions paid him bya certain Bank Presidentess. CounseELess: What attentions? DepENDANT: Well, she sent him flowers, opera tickets and silk hats. Couns : What harm in that? You know how much these little attentions mean to a man of delicate instincts. DeFENDANT: And, she used to take him driving. CounseLess: Well, these are not the Dark Ages. Did you expect him to seclude himself like a monk? Don't you know how dull it gets for a man, sitting all day at home, waiting for his wife to come home from the office? DeFENDANT: Man’s place is in the home. Tue JupcEs Have any of the jurywomen any ques- tions to ask the witness? ForEwoMan: Yes, Your Honoress, I'd like to ask the witness where she got that perfect love, of a hat she’s wearing. ' Tue JupceEss: yes or no. (Continued on page 32) Answer— comicbooks.com