Life — January 19, 1922 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Dear Girl RLETTA is a little dear, A flapper you might justly say; I trust | make my meaning clear. She dresses like a Vere de Vere, A stylish model of her day; Arletta is a little dear. They criticize her much, I hear, But everything is quite O.K. I trust | make my meaning clear. I'm lonely when she is not near, And miss her sympathetic way ; Arletta is a little dear. They say her speech is light and queer, But she is merely young and gay; I trust I make my meaning clear. Though I made twice as much a year, Her mounting bills I could not pay; I trust T make my meaning clear, Arletta is a little dear. T. J. M. From Their Wives’ Diaries RS. DIOGENES: When I re- M monstrated with my husband for expecting me to live with him in a tub he prophesied that a time was coming when such accommodations would be considered commodious ! Mrs. John Harvard: And now my hushand John wants to open a school for hoys! What a bitter disappoint- ment! I had hoped that he might make aname for himself! 1c Wife of Alexander the Great: “Alexander the Great,” indeed! Why, he sighs when he has a headache and cries when he has a toothache! Alex- ander the great—baby ! Mrs. Richard Brinsley Sheridan: I wish that my husband would engage in some enterprise where he might make money instead of wasting his time with stage-plays such as this “School for Scandal!” A scene on prarminsy New York, in 1890, showing the density of overhead wires The same scene after the overhead wires were replaced by underground cables Improvements The history of the telephone js a record of constant improve- ment. Only by numerous inven- tions and ceaseless research for new and better ways has the present standard been reached. Two-score years ago the tele- phone could hardly carry the human voice across a city. Now it carries it distinctly across this great continent. The once familiar network of overhead wires in large cities has been re- placed by systems of under- ground cables, each cable con- taining thousands of slender, sensitive wires. Switchboards, once primitive devices, called upon to handle only a few connections and limited in their workings, have now become great and precise mechanisms through which the volume and complexity of tele- phone traffic is handled with me- chanical perfection. With the continued growth in the number of telephone users, there is a continued increase in the problems of speed, accuracy and speech transmission. These are the problems for- ever before the scientists and engineers of the Bell System; and the sclution of these prob- lems, in advance of necessity, is the objective of this great body of specially trained experts. The Bell System will con- tinue the improvements necessary to maintain its standard of ser- vice, which is the best and cheapest telephone service in the world. “BELL SYSTEM* Mrs. Dick Turpin: My old man hates all proverbs, and especially that one about “give a dog rope enough and he will hang himself!” Marco Polo: I should have married a home-loving man instead of a restless globe-trotter! I blame my Parents for this Polo match! AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY AND ASSOCIATED COMPANIES One Policy, One System, Universal Service, and all directed toward Better Service The Philosopher utters The Magic Phrase, “SUBSCRIBE TO LIFE” For the Architect—Fine Drawing—but mere lines compose great designs, Special Offer Enclosed find One Dollar (Canadian $1.20, Foreign $1.40). Send Lire for the next ten weeks to The Aftermath “Do you realize, old fellow, that a few weeks after you die you'll be ut- terly forgotten?” “No, I won’t; my wife will change my desk things all around.” FLupp: What do you call a man who has three wives? Duns: A millionaire! Open only to new subscribers; no subscrip- One Year $5 Canadian $5.80 (j) Foreign $6.60 tions renewed at this rate. LIFE, 598 Madison Ave., New York “Open Sesame” is out of date. comicbooks.com