Life — January 12, 1922 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Aspirin Always say ‘‘Bayer’’ Unless you see the name “Bayer” on tablets, you are not getting gen- uine Aspirin prescribed by physi- cians for 21 years and proved safe by millions. Directions in package. Aspirin is the trade mark of Bayer Manu: facture of Monoaceticacidester of Salicylicacid, Caution! “That any person who wilfully or for profit shall infringe any copyright secured by this act, or who shall know- ingly and wilfully aid or abet such in- fringement shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and upon conviction thereof shall be punished by imprison- ment for not exceeding one year, or by a fine of not less than $100 nor more than $1,000, or both, in the discretion of the Court.” HIS warning is printed on the fly- leaf of Drinkwater’s “Oliver Cromwell.” After reading the play, we think that the penalty is much too light. Anyone concerned in the production, or attending a second performance, should be punished with a fine of at least fifty thousand dollars and im- prisoned (with hard labor) for not less than forty years. Oliver Herford. deena Orator: This ’ere Gover’ment is like the hostrich rushin’ blindly forward with ’is ’ead ’idden in the sand. —Reproduced from Punch (Lon- don) by errangemment with its Proprietors. * LIFE The Menace of Anthol- ogies *TCHE name of the first-man who made an anthology is not recorded. It has been obliterated by the shifting sands of obscurity, but the shame of it is immortal. Yet this shame, which grows in volume with each succeeding generation, is not enough to keep others from imitating him. Thus we have Gems from the Bible, all the worst things that Homer or Chaucer or Dickens ever wrote compiled in handy volumes, that can be placed in any con- venient pocket to seduce the mind of the guileless possessor. We have all the stupidest short stories of each twelve- month, the dullest plays, the most foot- less epigrams, gathered together by a literary efficiency monster, who is too lazy ‘o attempt to do any really orig- inal work for himself, and whose chief stock in trade is to play upon the labor saving passions of as many victims as he can cajole. Every device known to the huckster has been employed for this purpose. We are confronted on every side with masterpieces from English literature, each one cut and trimmed to suit the most jaded appetite ; and the book-shelves reek with posies of poetry and bird’s-eye views of whole epochs—Victorian, Mid-Victorian, Re- naissance, Attic and epic and gastro- nomical. No man of any genuine sensitiveness or discrimination could ever get up an anthology, because he could never bring himself to the ignoble process of lacerating the work of any great author ; he would be too humble to trust his own judgment, too just to mutilate the whole, too honest to serve up something counterfeit by virtue of its being in- complete. Think of passing the better part of one’s time in emasculating some masterpiece, in order to appeal to one of the lowest tastes—that for getting something for nothing. Let those enterprising gentlemen who have a genius for compilation get up all the collections they want—of epitaphs, of conundrums, of anecdotes, of murders and last recorded sayings. But spare us, we beseech thee, from selections torn out of the living tissue of the immortals. T.L.M. Amenities Motte came home after a visit for the afternoon witli five-year-old Nellie. “Oh, mother!” she cried, “Nellie was rude and cross all the afternoon. She just quarreled and quarreled!” “Well,” said mother, “if a little girl had treated me that way when I was a little girl, I should have came home.” “Well, I didn’t,” said Mollie. “J just slapped her face and stayed.” vale : — chloral coal tar Sars cols, oF felt derivanives hae y of Mothersi!}'s Travel Boo! ‘sent on request without charge. MOTHERSILL REMEDY CO. Detroit, Mich More Opera Synopses (Continued from page 11) Schmiirr, hear the sound of remin- iscence coming from the rock and stop in their march to sing a hymn of praise for the drying up of the crops. They do not recognize Immergliick, as she has her hair done differently, and think that she is a beggar girl selling pencils. In the meantime, Ragel, the paper- cutter of the gods, has fashioned him- self a sword on the forge of Schmalz, and has called the weapon “Assistance- in-Emergency.” Armed with “As sistance-in-Emergency” he comes to earth, determined to slay the Iron Duck and carry off the beautiful Irma. But Frimsel overhears the plan and has a drink brewed which is given to Ragel in a golden goblet and which, when drunk, makes him forget his past and causes him to believe that he is Schnorr, the God of Fun. While la boring under this spell, Ragel has a funeral pyre built on the summit of a high mountain and, after lighting it, climbs on top of it with a mandolin which he plays until he is consumed. Immergliick never marries. SEXUAL KNOWLEDGE ILLUSTRATED Cloth By Win‘ield Scott Hall, M. D., Ph. D. SEX FACTS MADE PLAIN AMERICAN PUB. CO., 186 Winston Bldg., Philadelphia comicbooks.com