Life — December 8, 1921 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

G AvT NULLus The Star Chamber It seems that Miss Annie Jump Cannon, America’s leading lady astronomer, who is able to classify stars almost at a glance, has now arranged seven hundred thousand of them. The firmament has often im- pressed us as lacking the deft touch of a capable woman.—Punch. Page the Firing Squad “Yes, sir,” said the needy inventor, “I need money; my back is to the wall.” “Well,” remarked the business man hope- fully, “sunrise isn’t so far away.” —American Legion Weekly. Consolation “How did your novel come out?” “Well,” replied the self-confident author, “it proved beyond all doubt that it isn’t one of those trashy best-sellers.” HOW JOLLY! Mistress: I see you continually talking to that young man at the gate, Mary. Are you engaged to him? Generalship Two rival Western towns both boasted of the prowess of their football teams, and a game was arranged. One town bet quite heavily on its team, and to make the result fairly certain hired a celebrated profes- sional player. Early in the game he made a sensational run of seventy yards to a touchdown—and to the surprise of the spectators was immediately removed from the game. The manager gave this ex- planation: “Why, we guaranteed to pay that guy at the rate of a dollar a yard! Do you think I wanted to see the town go broke?” —New York Evening Post The Disputed Barricade Two negro legionnaires were scuffling on a street car one night, but one grew weary of the entertainment. “Don’t do that, Orion!” he protested. “Gwan away now and lemme ‘lone. Is you cravin’ a rondy- voo wi’ death?”—Kansas City Star. Art Takes Its Course Mavup: Why should she want her por- trait painted ? —Boston Transcript. Mary: No, mum; not as yet, but I keep company with him. very well brought up, quiet and melancholy like. —Tatler (London). He: Are you married? Sue: That’s my business. H How’s business? —Pennsylvania Punch Bow Grace: Well, she’s getting too old to look well in a photograph. He's —London Opinion Starvinc_Ex-Service Man (to pawn- broker): Ten cents on the medal? Th told me it was priceless—Good Morning Lire _is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. Title registered in_ U. Patent Office. $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.60 a year; to Canada, 80 cents. Back numbers cannot be supplied. The text and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted. For in Great Britain apply to Lire, Rolls House, Breams Bu Lane, London, E. C., England. int Rights ngs, Fetter The foreign trade supplied from Lrre’s London Office, Rolls House, ms Buildings, London, E. C, Canadian distributor, J. R. Tang; James Street,’ Montreal, Canada. No contributions will be returned unless accompanied by stamped ond addressed envelope. Lire does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unsolicited contributions, Notice of change of address should reach this office two weeks prior to the date of issue to be affected. It CLAMPS Everywhere it STANDS Anywhere Reg. U. 8. Pat. Of. HE lamp of a thousand practical uses. Clamps—stands —hangs—anywhere and everywhere. All the light you need where and when you need it. Prevents eye strain— reduces light bills. No other lighting device like it. Solid brass; handsome. durable and compact, @ Clamp is felt-lined—can't scratch. Guaranteed 5 five years. Complete with 8-ft. cord and plug Get an Adjusto-Lite today. If your dealer doesn’t carry it, order direct. S. W. FARBER 141-151 So. Fifth Street, Brooklyn, N. Y. Prices in U.S, A., complete with 8-foot cord. plug [i and socket,” Brush Brass finished $5.00; Statuary Bronze or Nickel finish $5.50. West of ‘Mississippi, prices 25¢ per lamp higher. “TRADE Packer to Consumer | For yourself or a friend no gift remem- | bered with greater appreciation than Ron r” “Very Best” CALIFORNIA FRUITS—Preserved, dried and spiced The biggest, plumpest and tastiest—just the fruits you’d select if you strolled through California orchards. Purchased exclusively by thousands of the wealthiest and most prominent families, whose repeat orders are regular. The “Life” assortment $10 delivered to any address in” .. express pre paid, or $8.00 express collect. 1 five pound box dried fruits. 1 pound box stuffed prunes. 1 dozen assorted preserves, jellies, and orange blossom honey. 1 small can green gage plums. 1 small can yellow cling peaches, 1 large can whole peeled apricots. 1 can asparagus tips. 1 two pound glass, whole spiced Kadota gS. Send check or money order—Shipment made day order is received. De- scriptive, booklet upon request. Absolutely fresh pack. Have never had request for money back, Not sold at stores except by Fred Harvey ae aes Retall Shop at Los Altos Los Altos, Santa Clara County, Callfornia GUARANTEE We guarantee afl Betty Jeane fruits to be equal or better in every respect to the best that you have ever purchased, and will cheerfully _re- fund your money without question if you are not entirely satisfied. of the that abot into for thou was vir that that not : mill 9 tos whe lion mill: thin! sand ably peor end ing | Bi scier matt The and amu: do t! tion dane in tl coun got Kor; ing comicbooks.com