Life, 1921-12-01 · page 55 of 58
Life — December 1, 1921 — page 55: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct sections: **Upper half:** A continuation of "A Christmas Spectacle"—a satirical theater piece depicting a chaotic amateur Christmas pageant at what appears to be a church or community center. The humor comes from the predictable mishaps: actors forgetting lines, elaborate but fragile stage props, and the final stampede when children rush offstage. The satire targets earnest but incompetent amateur theatrical productions common in the era. **Lower half:** Primarily advertisements, including a prominent pitch for "Paradise Water"—a patent medicine claiming to cure arthritis, Bright's disease, prostatitis, and heart problems. This exemplifies the era's widespread medical quackery; such tonics were unregulated and made unfounded health claims. The ad's grandiose language ("remarkable purity," "eliminates poisons") was typical of fraudulent wellness marketing of the period. The page reflects Life's dual mission: satirizing contemporary American life while accepting dubious advertisements—a contradiction modern readers find striking.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Christmas Spectacle (Continued from page 29) whispered messages to the effect that the next line begins, “My message brigh!—” Gertrude will disappear, cry- ing softly. “After the morale of the cast has been e measure restored by the pianist, with great presence of mind, plays bars of “Will There Be Any in My Crown?” to cover up Ger- it, Martha Wrist will unleash a rope of silver tinsel from the foot of the tree, and, stringing it over the boug!is as she skips around in a circle, ay, with great assurance: in st who. a fe Star trude's e will und and ’round the tree I go, rough the holly and the snow, nging love and Christmas cheer rough the happy year to come.” At this point there will be a great commotion and jangling of sleigh-bells off-siage, and Mr. Creamer, rather disguised as Santa Claus, will e from the opening in the imita- tion ‘replace. A great popular demon- stration for Mr. Creamer will follow. He will then advance to the footlights, and, rubbing his pillow and ducking his knees to denote joviality, will say thickly through his false beard: “\Vell, well, well, what have we here? of bad little boys and girls who going to get any Christmas pres- this year? (Nervous laughter the little boys and girls.) Let me see, let me see! I have a note here fron Dr. Whidden. Let's see what it says. (Reads from a paper on which there is obviously nothing written.) ‘lf you and the young people of the In- termediate Department will come into the Christian Endeavor room, I think we may have a little surprise for you. tac Well, well, well! What do you suppose it can be? (Cries of “I know, I know!” from sophisticated ones in the audience.) Maybe it is a bottle of cas- tor-oil! (Raucous jeers from the little boys and elaborately simulated disgust on the part of the little girls.) Well, anyway, suppose we go out and see? Now if Miss Liftnagle will oblige us with a little march on the piano, we will all form in single file—” \: this point there will ensue a stam- pede toward the Christian Endeavor roon!, in which chairs will be broken, decorations demolished, and the pro- testing Mr. Creamer badly hurt. poor eme A | arer ents fror This will bring to a close the first | part of the entertainment. Competition “I've just seen at the Palace a pic- ture of the most beautiful girl in America.” “T'll bet she wasn’t so beautiful as the most beautiful girl in America I saw at the Colonial.” for: —Rheumatoid Arthritis (Articudar Rheumatism) / —Bright’s Disease —Prostatitis —Heart and Arterial Deterioration Take This Paradise Prescription: Get a case of Paradise Water (it comes from Paradise Spring in Maine.) Drink Paradise plentifully and exclusively for a month—at least two quarts every day. This will en- able you to demonstrate not only the great value of Paradise Water in the prevention and alleviation of the Specific ailments listed above, but also its buoyant, up-building effect upon the general health. Such ailments are usually caused by the accumulation of mineral deposits and poisonous wastes in the cellular tissue and joints of the body. Para- dise Water, because of its remarkable purity and solvency, dilutes, dissolves and eliminates these minerals and poisons. Its continued use decreases the injurious lime and mineral salts going into the system and tends to eliminate that already present. By cleansing the cellular structure, Paradise helps to keep the heart and arteries young. The kidneys and in- testinal tract are also induced to function properly. The purified is slow to reach old age by physical deterioration . A well-known medical authority “The drinking of large quantities OL Paradise Water conduces to increased health and happiness. The man, wo- man or child who drinks it regularly will have better digestion and absorp- tion, less trouble from intestinal in- toxications, etc., and will be better able to cope with the day’s work. Paradise Water taken in large quan- will flush poisons from the sys- tem in a most efficient manner.” “The health book, and names of dealers veading drug. gists serve P. , and your grocer will deliver a case to your door. Quarts, pints pints, Natural or Carbonated, ers in addition to their health-giving qualities. ParapisE Sprinc Company, Brunswick, MAINE PARADISE WATER Basa Individuality We make your shoes to suit your Individuality, We match fab- rics and colors of Gowns. Our Cre- ations are exclusively ours and are designed for those who appreciate the effectiveness of really charming footwear. E. HAYES, Inc. Makers of Ladies’ Fine rootwear S32 Fitth Avenue, N. Y. Est. 1878 Bet. 47th and 48th “MEN OF BRAINS IGARS “MADE AT KEY WEST— FOR Hot water Sure Relief FOR INDIGESTION comicbooks.com