Life — October 27, 1921 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

RESIDENT HARDING is consid- ering a trip to the Panama Canal Zone. expenses? aL Admiral Sims is now nearing Shake- speare’s record for being Will he have to pay his zone Snow shovels for the 1921-22 season will be all wood and a yard wide. aL Rip Van Winkle was an exception to the rule; he was willing to admit that he had been asleep. Senator Curtis of Kansas boasts that he was employed as a jockey before he started his political career. He must be the one who puts the riders on all those bills. JL Thomas A. Edison says that misquoted, Tip to the Disarmament Conference—An unemployed army is better than an army of unemployed. JL It costs $400,000,000 a year to run New York City, and a lot of people think it would he better to close it up. aL Time is money, and the rail- roads are running behind in both. aL New York’s newest barber shop serves tea with a shave, which is a pleasant departure from the custom of giving the patron a mouthful of lather. aL Senator Lodge on the Ger- man treaty: “Aha! I smell a plenty of grit is the cure for all our troubles, but we can't Local Gossip all live in Pittsburgh. Thomas Burke, famous Eng-- lish author, has refused to come over here and lecture. Burke's reconciliation with America? aL Chile has opened a national pawnshop. At last we have a place to hock the ex-Kaiser. aL It is hoped that Ireland will get her independence in time to be eligible for the Disarm- ament Conference. JL Nothing is certain in this world except death and taxes, and now a lot of pedple are beginning to feel a bit. skep- tical about death. ratification !” JL Dumb-bells were first used in the reign of Queen Elizabeth. Page Sir Walter Raleigh. OE CARVER heerd erbout ’em a-hevin’ the toddle over to the College so he set out to git some. He war so dry then that ye could hear his tongue a-rattlin’ every step. Wall, when he got thar it turned out he wuz all balled up. He ast a feller where erbouts the toddy wuz. But he couldn’t seem to locate any an’ ef he hadn't happened to ketch sight of some perfumery going cheap at the drug store most probably he wouldn’t hev gut back to Rock Hill at all. He come home a-dancin’ an’ a- tellin’, tellin’ he been workin’ acrost the cove, an’ as he melt so uv new mown hay all hands believe him, JL About the bitterest blow that the weekly news reels have had in many a day is the news that Lloyd George is not coming to America after all. aL It may not be an instance of aL Military delegates at the dis- armament kindly beat conference their swords into mashie niblicks. Jt The manufacturers of men’s clothes, it is said, waste $240,000,000 annually, and about $100,0¢ t goes for those superfluous sleeve buttons, aL Won't somebody start solicitin for a statue of H. G. Wells eni ing the Statue of Liberty enlig the World? dL 000 of (To be continued in our next) cause and effect, but simul- taneously with the failure of the rice crop in China came Another trouble with the railroads is that hand-bag methods prevail on trunk lines. aL The Red army has invaded Finland again. It looks like a fight to a Fin- nish. LL Noted scientist says psychic table mes- sages are all rot. We never believed in the tipping sys- em, either. JL November football is like feeding a gas meter, The last quarter ends in darkness. decrease in marriages here. President Harding’s idea is to substi- tute limitation of armaments for imi- tation of armaments. JL The cost of living—just living, mind you—has gone up 120% since 1914. And that figure doesn’t take in the cost of eating, sleeping, and wearing clothies. aL An anthropologist has stated that there is a race of savages in Africa whose skins are blue. He'd better tell that to the ultra-ma- rines. comicbooks.com