Life, 1921-10-27 · page 4 of 34
Life — October 27, 1921 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous sketch set in a Pullman railroad car, satirizing the absurdity of train travel etiquette. A young woman traveling on the "Gray Gables" complains to the conductor about her lost ticket, which she claims she placed on the window sill. The conductor dismissively suggests she look in her bag, but she insists she examined everything—chocolates, hair-curlers, theater checks, etc. The joke plays on the impracticality of using a window sill to store important documents while traveling, and the resulting bureaucratic frustration when the ticket vanishes. The accompanying illustrations show the conductor and porter becoming increasingly exasperated as they try to resolve this self-inflicted problem, mocking passenger carelessness and railway procedures of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Scene—Pullman Car, “Gray Gables.” ONDUCTOR (to young lady in chair 23): Tickets, please. YouneG Lapy (from behind a copy of “The Ladies’ Boon Companion”): It’s on the window sill. Conpucror: No ticket there, madam, Younc Lapy: Well, I put them both there. The other conductor must have taken it when he took the chair ticket. (Conductor goes on.) Younc Lapy (emptying everything out of her bag except the sweet choco- late, hair-curlers, theatre checks, safety pins, keys, buttons, etc.): I know I put them on the window sill. I always do. (To the young lady in chair 25.) Isn't that queer? I had my ticket on the window sill and now it’s gone. Younc Lapy 1n 25: Did you look in your bag? Younc Lavy 1n 23 (with polite im- patience): Oh, yes, of course (empties contents out of her bag, including the sweet chocolate and the hair-curlers). There, that’s all. I know I put them on the window sill. (Puts the sweet choco- late, hair-curlers, theatre checks, safety pins, powder box, mirror, time tables, letters, etc., back in her bag.) Conpuctor (returning): Have you got your ticket, madam? Younc Lapy: No! I told you 1 put both the tickets on the window sill. Hasn’t the Pullman conductor got it? Conpuctor: No, madam; he only took the chair ticket. YouncG Lapy: Did-he look in all his pockets ? “I put them on the window sill.” Window Silliness Beatrice Herford li sh “Tickets, please.” Conpbuctor: one, madam. Younc Lapy: Well, it’s the first time I ever heard of a man only having one pocket ! Conpuctor (to the porter): Take the seat out of the chair. You are sure it isn’t in your bag, madam? YouncG Lapy: Yes, I’ve looked there. I'm perfectly sure. (Opens bag and emptics out sz chocolate, powder box, time tables, hair-curlers, etc., etc., while the conductor fixes his eyes wear- ily on the coat rack.) Younc Lapy: You see, the trouble is there are so many of you. It’s like “too many cooks.” If there had only been one of you, he would have taken both tickets and neither of you would have had any bother. I put them both on the window sill so that you wouldn’t be waking me up all the time. Conbucror protests. Younc Lapy: Well, I don’t mean you especially, but some conductor is always waking me up. I don’t see why they don’t have “pay as you enter” trains. On a street car you can go to sleep in peace; if you want to, I mean. I never do, but I’ve seen people. I should think you would all get worn out anyway, walking up and down all the time. I guess that’s what makes everyone so sleepy on the train, seeing you. I know it does me. Conpuctor: Well, madam, we’ve got to settle this ticket business. Younc Lapy: You see, the screen He says he only has isn’t right. I expect that it blew out, Conpuctor: The fact remains you haven't given up your ticket. YouneG Lapy: Yes, I-have. When I've laid my ticket on the window sill, | consider I've given it up. It isn’t as if it was in my hat. I wouldn't put it there, anyway. I think it’s a horrid custom—but I mean it was on the win- dow sill of the railroad, it wasn’t on me. PuLLMan Conbuctor (joining in): The lady's railroad ticket was right there beside the chair ticket when I took it. Youne Lapy (triumphantly) : There! He knows I had the ticket (beaming at the Pullman Conductor). I think you were on the same train with me once before. Didn’t you send a telegram for me from Springfield when I left my rings on the bath in Albany? or Syra- cuse—I know it was on the bath. PuLtMan Conpuctor: I've sent so many telegrams like that, but I dare say... Youne Lapy: I’m sure it was you. You told me about your nice little fam- ily, and how your boy had a paper route and the measles, and distributed them for days before it was found out, and everyone was afraid they had got them, Younc Lapy In Cuair 25: dearie, what's that in your veil? Youne Lapy 1n 23: My ticket! It must have blown there. Conpucror: Well, you this time. Why, madam, it’s on “Take. the seat out of the chair.” comicbooks.com