Life — October 20, 1921 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

sAUT SCISSORS AvT NULLUs Apologies to R. K. “What makes the people snicker so?” Said folks upon parade. “?*Snickerbockers, don’t you know,” The shameless punster said. —Boston Transcript. Ships That Pass About a hundred years ago there was an English duke who used to return home at daybreak after a night’s gambling at his club. There were only two persons stirring in that part of London at that hour—the duke and a cobbler commencing his day's work. They always greeted each other. “Good night, friend,” said the duke. “Good morning, sir,” said the cobbler. —New York Evening Post. Up to Snuff - Manacer (referring to cmployee): Boy, do you know Felliner? New Orrice-Boy (bitten with “destruc- tive dialogue” craze): Ah, I’m not to_be caught, Sir. You want me to say, “Fel- liner who?” and then you'll say, “Fell-in-a- ditch !"—Punch. NEWS VALUE First Gentleman: Did you tell Bill Smith I was a dirty tike? Second Gentleman: —Tatler (London). A REFORMER says he will move Heaven and earth to enforce prohibition. The real problem, however, is to find some way to move the Bahamas.—Baltimore Sun. Respecting the Law Recently one of the dealers in_ intoxj. cants who carries on his business with some of the best people in the city, dropped in upon one: of his customers and began to display his wares. “I have some very fine Scotch, some vermouth, rye, bourbon, creme de menthe, gin and a few quarts of champagne to. day,” announced the bootlegger. “What can I sell you?” “Have you any absinthe?” one of his prospective purchasers inquired. “No, indeed,” responded the, bootlegger, “It’s against the law to sell absinthe.” —New York Sun, A Feeble-Minded Feline TEACHER: If a cat in a well climbs two feet and falls back one, how long w it take her to get out? Son or an Erriciency Expert: I have little or no interest in such a cat. —Harper’s Magazine, On the Wing SportsMAN (shooting partridges): | think I hit it, eh, what? Cautious CountRYMAN: Wy, zur, after you fired, ’ee certainly flew faster. —Town Topics (London). No; 'e knows It’s a wise child that resembles its rich relations—Toronto Telegram. Lire _is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. Title registered in Patent, Office. $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.60 a year; to Canada, 80 cents. Back numbers cannot be supplied. The text and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply to Lire, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Fetter Lane, London, E. C., England. The foreign trade supplied from Lire’s London Office, Rolls Hous, Breams Buildings, London, E. C. Canadian distributor, J. R. Tanguay, 386-388 St. James Street, Montreal, Canada. No contributions will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. Lire does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unsolicited contributions. Notice of change of address should reach this office two weeks prior to the date of issue to be affected. Business Conditions Seem Better Sales representatives who come to The Hollenden these days for sales appointments and con- ferences seem more hopeful. They speak optimistically of certain signs and events in their own lines. Heads of great industries who make The Hol- lenden their Cleveland head- quarters seem to reflect.the same spirit in a more reserved way. THE HOLLENDEN CLEVELAND Che HOMESTEAD Christian S-Andersen, Resident Hot Springs Vi ja New York Booking Office ‘The Rit-Caritor The high Alleghanies are glorious in Autumn. Beauty and color—and invigorating atmosphere. Ideal days for golf on two famous courses. Horse- back riding. Tennis. The hospitality, comfort, and supreme social charm of The Homestead will make you glad you came. The celebrated thermal establishment offers every hydrotherapeutic _treat- ment. Natural mineral waters, massage, Zander treatment and corrective exercises. comicbooks.com