Life — October 20, 1921 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ROVER CLEVELAND BERG- DOLL is reported to be mountain climbing in Switzerland. There’s a chance for an avalanche to If Fords keep on being reduced, Wool- worth’s will be the local agent and O'Sullivan will furnish the tires. There is a good deal of opposition to the plan to tear down New York’s Post Office. After all, it is the old stamping ground, make itself famous. aL “Mark twain” is the slogan of the voting-booth repeater. aL Many on the water wagon feel better off. aL “Gunmen are now traveling in automobiles.”—Collier’s. Slay rides? aL The rival factions in China have refused to go into con- ference with each other. Evidently they are not on Peking terms. aL Jazz lyrics are written in the Anglo-Saxophone language. aL Digression is the better part of De Valera. aL “The program was opened with four popular Southern tunes, the well-known ‘Dixie,’ and ‘Way Down Upon the Swanee River.’ ’”—Columbia University Spectator. Is simple mathematics becom- ing a dead language? aL Cabmen in Moscow are said to make one hundred and seventy-five thousand rubles a day. They couldn't do much better if they were driving taxis in New York. over. couldn’t hear. aL The New Jersey courts are trying to determine whether the late Battle of the Century was a “boxing exhibition” or a “fight.” They should Carpentier. ask Georges aL China won't be admitted to the Disarmament Conference until she can prove that she has something to disarm. aL Reduce Government penses $100,000,000 a Year. —News Item. A mere drop in the budget. aL The reason it’s hard to tell where all the pins go is that they’re headed one way Local Gossip OME folks ‘round these parts air gittin’ too all-fired slick. ! ider’s been doin’ fust rate sellin’ lots to strangers movin’ in, and come to find out Al’s been pretendin’ he wuz deaf as a post, and the folks would hev to holler like screech owls to ast him a question; yellin’ uv it So they’d talk between themselves thinkin’ Al After he’d found out how much money they had to spend and so on, he’d set the price and land em ev'ry time. He’s gittin’ kinder sick uv it, though, cuz ev'ry time he goes near the Swamp Heights Estates the folks yell so at him he gits a headache, and tother day two of ’em tried to hail him to once and they bellered so his horse ran away. (To be continued in our next) and pointed the other. aL In the general advance all along the line the only thing that hasn't gone higher is 2.75 beer. aL The girl that poses for the lingerie ads doesn’t have to get dressed to go to work. -L Temperance was making real and rapid progress until ’ro- hibition killed it. Why. isn’t the official regalia of the Ku Klux Klan Klassy Kollege Klothes? aL Bernard Shaw denies that the persons who invited him to the United States are his friends. We deny that they are ours. aL A Swiss ‘has invented a noiseless can- non, which should be useful for firing salutes to his country’s navy. aL Despite the improvement in postal ser- vice it is as difficult as ever for college footballers to obtain their letters. Either Mars is signaling to us or they're trying some home brew recipes up there. aL The Chief Prohibition Commissioner states that one Federal agent is needed to watch every five people. And how many are needed to watch him? aL Our statesmen declared that we fought to get nothing out of the war; and then made a present of it to the soldiers. LL Try to convince a woman with three children that there is any unemploy- ment. zi The worst thing about golf is that it is uselessly prolonging the lives of so many superfluous citizens. JL Congressmen make speeches as if they got twenty cents a mile for space in the Congressional Record. dL Dice: The cube root of the gambling evil. comicbooks.com