Life — October 13, 1921 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

E once fought for the freedom of Cuba—now we haye to go there to enjoy it. aL Three-year-old girl climbs Pike’s Peak. Sounds like a precocious preference for high life. Washington is the seat of the Govern- ment and the taxpayer is the pants pocket. IL You can always get a quorum of dry Congressmen by opening up a flask. It is hard to convince the owner of cream-colored trousers that flame at- tracts moths more than flannel. -L Ireland’s leading exports are help and police. LL Ford wants to get the price to a point at which a fellow will feel justified in walking off and leaving the car in the ditch, LL Women who wear skirts too short in Berlin are subject to being fined. But it’s better than wearing them too long, subject to being refined. aL The way cigarette prices have been hoisted proves the trust has no tobacco heart. Now the bootleggers are boast- ing how few miles they travel to the gallon. The miners want more pay and less work. The coal trust wants more dividends and less pay. The public wants more i EI coal and less talk. Local Gossip M THAYER hes allers ben a great hand fer an- swerin’ ads, jest sost he kin hev some mail. It would hardly pay Greece or Turkey to take a good man away from the fighting line long enough to send him to the disarmament conference. L Where a secret is concerned, a woman makes every word tell, aL Ku Klux Klan is the biggest money-maker they've had_ in Atlanta since Coca Cola. LL The American Legion esti- mates that seven hundred thou- sand war veterans are jobless. But that’s all right; the world is safe for democracy! LL The movie folk should have their private lives: screened from the public. aL There are all kinds of ways for making a living. A nature wizard in Kansas gets $2,000 Art for an inch of rain. And aL Female detectives are scarce because no one wants to be a plain clothes woman. LL Hotel Barber Shops Getting Grand Opera Prices.—Head- line. Meaning it costs no more to listen to “The Barber of Se- ville” than any other barber. LL Counterfeit paper money de- Morse, the Rural Free Delivery feller, sez Lem’s the best customer he’s gut. Wall, Lem writ to one concern an’ gut ketched on a correspondence course in Massage an’ hes been a-massagin’ his Uncle Bijah accordin’ to the lessons all spring. Bige didn’t like it, but Lem kept naggin’ at him till he give in, only a-course he wouldn’t take his clothes off. Lem sez he’s expectin’ to be sent fer by a horspittle ‘fore long, but Bige reckons they'll send fer him fust. He’s ben complainin’ erbout it con- sider’bul cuz Lem’: "8 rubbin’ uv him tore the buttons all offen his shirt an’ when Lem busted his watch crystal pokin’ uv him, Bige quit. Lem tried it on Allie Westley, but Allie’s ticklish an’ Lem give him up. (To be continued in our next) Bryan gets $250 and expenses for an hour and a half of wind. aL The most brutal part of boxing is what the income tax sleuths do to the champions’ purses. -L President Harding's golf scores look something like his majority in the last election. aL Hoyt, Hopwood and Volstead —authors of our greatest tected in France had been buried in the ground to give it a dirty look. Had they wanted the money to get a real dirty look, they should have offered it to the head waiter of a fashionable restaurant. aL The latest addition to the staff of one Atlantic liner is a woman hairdresser. “A life on the ocean wave.” Add to unique descriptions Mlle. Lenglen’s reported impression of the shimmy. “It just thrills with its delicate emo- tional grace.” JL A woman's wave is permanent when it takes two or three months before it’s straightened out. farces. JL Lloyd George's bad tooth, which caused him so much trouble, was probably ulsterated. -L There is no secret about the fact that Lire is offering a prize for the best Life Line to be published before the first issue in December. For further encouragement, see page 29 of this issue. comicbooks.com