Life — September 29, 1921 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sanctum Talks “s ELL, Lire, anything you want me to settle—” “On my word, General Smuts. are you?” “Now that I’ve settled the Irish ques- tion—” “And got the League straightened out.” “Well—” . “And made everybody agree to dis- arm, and—” “But—” “And have made the girls’ skirts longer, and brought the churches to- How Host: Great stuff, old chap. gether and stopped all the divorces and rendered all the jails superfluous and brought down all the taxes and—” “Hold on, Lire! You're unfair.” “My dear General Smuts, I haven't the slightest desire or intention to be unfair; but the fact is—” “The fact is that—” “That we were all looking for a su- perman; we had grabbed up every- body who came along, and after shak- ing them all down, had given them up —and then you came like a moral giant. And we said—” Made it myself. Five pounds of prunes, a pound of raisins, a quart of cider, five gallons of water and a yeast cake. Guest: And what’s the antidote? LIFE “Cut it out, Lire; that is what you would say, isn’t it?” “And we said, ‘Here he is at last— dear old Smuts; first he'll settle the Irish question—just like that; and then he'll get busy with the rest of creation, and everything will then be quite all right.’ All that H. G. Wells could do was to say what ought to be done with the universe; but you were the man, we all felt, to do it.” “Lire! I’m no such man. you my word I’m a villain—” You're a hero!” “I’m just a plain, ordinary—” “Now, now! I can see you Liush! It’s no use, General; you’ve got to take your place with the few old boys we read about in the calendar of saints.” “But I thought you'd see the point. I haven’t done anything except be polite.” “Isn’t that enough? That’s more than Northcliffe or Lloyd George did! You're too modest. Oh, Brother Smuts, this will never do.” “Don’t call me Brother Smuts, or I'll swat you!” “What else!” “T'll shoot up the place. I'll do any- thing to get back my reputation for being an ordinary person. I’m a bad man from South Africa. Damn! So there.” “Naughty !” “Hell and—” “Fudge! Here’s to—” “Lire! Be reasonable. Call me any- thing you like; say I am a traitor; tell me I ama liar; proclaim me as a rough- neck, a diplomat, or a gunman, but | beg of you don’t call me a superman! It’s too much!” “You brought it on yourself, General, by trying to be nice to the Irish; but I'll forgive you this time if you'll never do it again.” “Honor bright. And good morning.” “Ta-ta! Brother!” I give T. LM. LIFE’S Fresh Air Fund Live's Fres Arr Funp has been in opera: tion for the past thirty-four years, In that time it has expended $191,130.33 and has @ fortnight in the country to 41,505 poor children. Contributions, which are acknowledged in 1.1re about three weeks after their receipt, shoul! be made payable to Lire’s Fresn Air Funp, and sent to 598 Madison Avenue, New York Cit +$21,895.90 = 25.00 10.00 acknowledged arney, Jacksonville, Fla. “Brooklyn, ine” Mrs. GB. A James D. Wi 2 Camp Wyanoke, Wolfeboro, N. 13.01 ‘Abe Cook, Vancouver, B.C 500 Sally Welch (age 9), East River, Conn. > 10 Edward Hopkins, Toledo, O. eee 25.00 Herrika and Nancy, North Hero, $0.00 “In loving memory of William Wolf Dimock,” Bristol, R. I.... 5.00 $22,080.01 Previous! Ww. comicbooks.com