Life — September 29, 1921 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘ELEPHONE operators should work eight hours and sleep eight hours—but not the same eight hours. aL The Frenchman who recently bit off his landlord’s nose was forgetful of the clause in the lease that says the tenant must make all repairs. aL The more we read about Matrimonial styles item: Wives are going out. LL The number of sporting page readers who could not pronounce Suzanne’s name probably was equal to the num- ber who were glad when Molla Bjur- stedt got married. Congress is still taking orders from W. W., only now it’s Wayne Wheeler, aL So long as they keep opening up five- and-ten-cent stores, there'll always be someone to paint the town red, —-L British historians of the future will doubtless speak of the present Congresswomen, the more we feel that woman's place is in the home, but not in the House. aL Senator Lodge says that the Washington deliberations will have “the largest publicity compatible with public inter- est.” This was the first in- timation we had had that George Creel was expected. tL According to a recent dis- patch, poker and crap-shoot- ing. have become the latest craze in British society. London bridge must be fall- ing down. aL The expert who used to tell us the war would be over in six months has found a new job. He is now predicting the return of the long skirt. JL EP Cay has made up his mind; he’s goin’ in fer pub- It lic life, an’ that’s all there is to it. He’s fixed up some signs an’ been a-stickin’ uv "em up all along the hull length of Squantum Turnpike. and told the folks he thought fust off ’twas some new ‘ fertilizer on the market, then he seen ‘twant nothin’ new. Yes, Ed sez he’s goin’ inter politics fer all he’s wurth aL UL this fall. He has been Fence Viewer an’ Scaler of Wood an’ Hay, an’ now he'll run fer Keeper of the Pound. He gut the bee in his bunnit somehow. A New Hampshire congre- gation advertises for a min- ister. In New York the ministers advertise for con- gregations. Eastern tourists report that California is an ideal spot from which to telegraph Local Gossip (To be continued in our next) Jim Rourke seen ’em troublesome Sinn Fein period as the “Devil Era.” JL If those Martians are trying to talk to us, it’s the same old story . . . “They don’t an- swer.” JL Motto for the Peace Confer- ence: To the victors belong the broils. JL A sedan has been motorist’s Waterloo. aL There will be nothing new under the sun until someone discovers a bootlegger that does a credit business. aL The publicity the new re- formers are getting should make Billy Sunday blue. JL makes no difference whether five cents or eight cents is the subway fare. The public will stand for it. many a The fact that we spent $44,- 000,000 for chewing gum last year isn’t surprising. We knew Mr. Wrigley was mak- home for more money. aL Mayor Hylan ought to get up a con- test between the New York gunmen and the New York police, to see who can kill the most people in one day. aL Rats are found everywhere in the world except the Polar regions, says London Answers. Due, no doubt, to the extraordinary ac- tivity of the Pole cats. Many a joke that comes to a suffering editor is too good to be new. aL One argument in favor of the 12-mile limit is that it would greatly increase the number of miles per gallon. aL Lord Northcliffe says he didn’t notice the effects of prohibition when he was in New York. But, then, he wasn’t here long enough to begin paying for his own stuff. ing a couple of mints. aL Women have grown one and a half inches taller in the last forty years; but it wouldn’t have made any difference —they would look down on us anyway. aL Every straphanger is an auto thief in the making. He is constantly taking cars that don’t belong to him. ne “Oh, well,” said the government em- ployee, “it’s all in a day’s shirk.” comicbooks.com