Life — September 1, 1921 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

arr y, ee “Any luck, miss?” “Three of them; but they don’t seem to know enough to hold on.” Historical “Ir you have tears, prepare to shed them now,” declared Mark Antony as with a quick gesture he gave the secret signal for the Tear Bomb Squad of the Roman Police force to begin firing on the angry mob. The experiment, as we all know, was successful. Line Forms on Right All the world’s a stage and all the men and women in it are now waiting for the great Burlesque Number of LIFE, out next Tuesday. . Puzzle Did the home team win or lose? LIF‘'sZ Our Criminal Department (Note —To become a full-fledged member of our American League for Crime send us ten dollars’ worth of certificates any oil company. This will entitle you to become a s scriber to our wonderful magazine, “The Gunman,” and will also receive our first text book, entitled “Easy Less in Crime.” Try to interest your friends.) E are happy to announce that we now have a large waiting list for our SIX WEEKS’ COURSE IN SANDBAGGING, one of the most popular courses we have, We guarantee that in only four lessons you can sandbag the president of any New York bank without danger, and in four more lessons the president of any other bank. When you are in town drop into our studios. Without doubt we have the finest collection of European and beach photographs ever before exhibited. Wilbur Crafts says there is simply nothing like them. We teach you everything. There is no crime that you can- not learn under our tutelage. According to your genius, you can become anything from a plain pickpocket to a corporation lawyer. The following testimonial (voluntary) has just been re- ceived: “Gentlemen: I can’t thank you enough for what you have done for me. I was getting terribly nervous about myself for fear I wouldn't amount to anything, when I began taking your course. Now I pass most of my time beating up rich elderly women and robbing them of their jewels. Kindly remember me to the Mayor and Chief of Police. Both good guys “Ever yours, ——————-.’ We have received the following letter from one of those POOR FISH who think they know it all: “I’ve been watching you fellows work, teachin’ crime, and there ain’t nothin’ to it. You boys’ just tryin’ to get our wads away from poor innocent crime boobs. Anybody knows if you want to kidnap a kid or sandbag a skirt or shoot up a bank, all yer got to do is to do it. Who's going to stop yer? You guys can’t teach nothing. It ain’t necessary. Why, the cops got so much to do collecting fines from gas wagons they ain't got no time to stop us.” To this friend, and to others, we say that while we realize perfectly the ease with which crimes of all sorts can be com- mitted, what our friend doesn’t see is that the competition is getting to be so fierce that unless you are really an expert you will soon not be able to make a living at it. The day has gone by when a lot of people were just waiting around to be robbed. Remember, the quickest guy gets the persimmon. Begin right with us. The Noble Art HE gong sounded. They met in the center, a man and a woman, facing each other with glaring eyes—and the fight was on. Stooping low, he feinted with his left, and then slipped home a right which left its mark. She shuddered as she returned it. Then came a skilful exchange of rights and lefts. As he sparred for an opening, his footwork was little short of marvelous. Neither spoke; their damp foreheads proclaimed their exertion. And his chance came. As she withdrew before a pair of hooks, a carefully placed left followed by an equally effective right did the work. He stood aside while she took the count. “One—two—three——ten.” “Thank you,” he said. And proudly she marched off with her new pair of shoes. comicbooks.com Se