Life, 1921-08-25 · page 8 of 34
Life — August 25, 1921 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a two-scene theatrical comedy. The text presents dialogue between a burglar and an assistant, then the burglar and a lady of the house he's robbing. The humor relies on the burglar's incompetence and the lady's sharp wit—she's unimpressed and threatening rather than frightened. She references "The Love Pest," suggesting the burglar may have killed someone, and mocks his criminal reputation. The illustration labeled "Great Historic Moments: The Invention of the Trap" depicts whimsical, grotesque creatures examining mousetraps—a visual pun playing on the theatrical setup and the burglar's predicament of being caught or trapped. The piece satirizes both incompetent criminals and unflappable society women through absurdist humor typical of early 20th-century American comedy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
In Two Scenes. Seen first in the bath room. Seen second in the boudoir. _URGLAR: How's this for a swell little dug- out, and both doors lock. That must be the bedroom— ASSISTANT BuRGLAR: Gee! I'd like to take a bath in that; some tub, I'll say!— Burciar: Ain’t that odd, now! it’s seemed like Saturday to me all day, too— (In the room adjoining a lady on a chaise longue drops a book she has been dozing over.) Assistant Burciar: What's that! Burctar: Nothin’! She’s dropped her night book; they print ’em special just one chapter to ’em; they falls asleep after that— AssisTANT BurcLar (in a hoarse whis- per): My God! I’ve left my cough drops at home; what the hell am I going to do? sso solleant ay The: Burglar By BEATRICE HERFORD Burctar: If you feel it coming on, hold your breath and beat it for the back stairs. You shouldn’t have gone to that funeral yesterday; I knew you’d get more cold. The church would have done, no call for you goin’ to the grave. You've gotter cut out the society stuff or I'll know the reason— AssIstaANT BurcLar (angrily): You will, will you? Well, didn’t I get the beaded bag at the grave? (Tries to sup- press a fit_of coughing.) Burciar: Beat it and don’t come back !— (Exit Assistant.) THE Lapy 1x THE Bouporr (yawn- ing): Oh! Is that you, Jack, dear? You're back early; your cough sounds bad; you should have worn your rubbers as I told you. Burciar (reflecting): Sounds nat- ural; guess they are all alike excepting for the pearls. Tue Lapy (calling) : answer, Jack? Why don’t you Burciar: That’s my cue. (Opens door into boudoir and points a revolver at the lady.) The Lady on the Chaise Longue; who had already become alarmed, points q shoe horn at the burglar. Burciar: Thank you, lady; you can keep it. I ain’t never us shoes goes on easy. THE Lapy (looking at the shoe horn): Oh! I’m so disappointed; I thought it was so much better than a_tea-spoon I've been dying to try it. Burciar: Well, you'll be dying for something else if you don’t keep your mouth shut. Tue Lapy: Oh, you can’t frighten me—I’m a movie star. Burotar (a look of alarm stealing over his face): Ill be damned. me. I mean how small the world is. | thought I'd seen you before; you played the girl who killed the guy in “The Love Pest” and then leaped from a_thirty- story window onto the elevated; me and my gal’s crazy about you. one—my Excuse Great Historic Moments The Invention of the Trap comicbooks.com