Life — August 25, 1921 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

August Bedtime Stuff for Grown-ups ( NIMAL stories are the stuff for the kiddies. No outline of the world’s events is complete without the latest news from meadows and woods where the ani- mals and birdies are thickest. What Uncle Rabbitty and Peter Potato Bug have been doing to-day is always front- page information. For grown-up readers who want to be abreast of events and have no leisure to squander at zoos, we have prepared a dail) nature story. The first and last instalment appears to-day, but don’t let thar bother you. Simply substitute field mice for the characters in this yarn, and it will read like brand-new stuff to-mor- row. Make it brown-tail moths the day after that, and then keep the series going yourself. Now for the grown-up nature stor) = “[ saw a very funny animal to-day,” said Uncle Horace as the Wimpus family started to mop up. “Oh, tell us about the funny animal,” said Winnie and Wiliie and Wallie Wimpus as they cuddled up to the Standard Oil heater. “Very well,” replied Uncle Horace, “but you must promise to go to bed and vep after I've told you the story.” “You're on,” said Winnie and Willie Wimpus “Well,” said Uncle Horace, “ going through my julep grove this morn- ing. | happened upon a queer little thing with a fuzzy pink tail and a henna-col- ored neck, busily knitting a red flannel shirt for his good friend, the Horse Fly. ‘Good morning, Little Pee-Wee,’ I said to him, and so startled was he by my approach that he dropped six stitches in the Horse Fly’s chemi “My name isn’t Pee-Wee,’ said my little friend. ‘I am a Kafloozus bird, and all my chums call me Pinkie-Pink.’ “What a handsome monicker,’ I re- plied. Oh, thank you, kind sir,’ said Pinkie- Pink. ‘Have playmate anywhere? They call him Uppsie-Bupp- I was you seen my You don't mean a cute little hop- toad,’ T asked, ‘with a purple stripe up and down his back and three stars on his cunning neck?” **Yea, bo; you said it,’ cried Pinkie- Pink with joy. ‘That is my good friend, Uppsie-Buppsie.” “Then I saw him just a few minutes .’ I replied, ‘trying to bite his initials in a grapefruit.’ “Whereupon the Kafloozus bird stood on his head from sheer joy. ‘Just to show you how grateful I am,’ said he, ‘I The Legal Mind Business Man: Hey! Lawyer: Why don’t you use this nice new bridge? I've crossed this ford for thirty years and it gives my horse a drink, washes him off and keeps my rig from falling apart. am going to do you a special favor. So just watch closely and see that I have no aces or kings up my sle@ve or any other foreign substances on my person.’ “With that, Pinkie-Pink began to change from pink and henna to green and gold. Presently, after that color effect, it switched into a beautiful mauve and magenta. ‘And now for the last trick,’ said the Kafloozus. Whereupon his neck stretched out a yard and a half and grad- ually grew a bushel of red, white and blue feathers. “Shades of George M. Cohan,’ I ‘How such capers?’ ‘Try and guess it!’ laughed Pinkie- Pink as he hopped into a garden of poi- son ivy. “And that was the last of the Kafloozus bird,” said Uncle Horace, “and now you must go to bed.” “Qh, goody-goody,” said Winnie and Willie and Wallie. “When will you tell us another story like that?” “Whenever I have another hangover,” said Uncle Horace. cried. is’ it possible to perform Neal R. O'Hara. comicbooks.com