Life, 1921-08-25 · page 10 of 34
Life — August 25, 1921 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**The Image:** A dramatic maritime engraving titled "The Golden Gate," depicting a sailing ship in stormy seas with dramatic cloud formations. It accompanies a poem by Mary Terrill celebrating the ship's "superb" beauty. **The Satirical Content:** The page features a fake advertisement for "Our Criminal Department" offering courses in criminality—robbery, murder, bigamy, embezzlement, etc.—with testimonials from "satisfied customers" claiming success. This is obvious satire mocking either actual criminal instruction or, more likely, critiquing how poorly-enforced American laws effectively allow wealthy criminals to operate with impunity. **"Hitherto Unrecorded Controversy":** A brief humorous exchange between Lord Bacon and Shakespeare debating whether husbands are like tail-lights—useful primarily when lit up (drunk). The page blends literary/artistic content with sharp social satire typical of Life magazine's editorial approach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Drawn by John Wolcott Adams The Golden Gate UPERB in its simplicity it stands, Hewn by the wonder-touch of master-hands; The gold of noon and rose of westering sun Regild it till each weary day is done. Our Criminal Department (For a small fee, payable in advance, we guarantee to make a first-class criminal out of almost anybody. It is becoming recognized that only by being a criminal can you escape.) Testimonials “QD EFORE trying your six weeks’ course in criminality, I was only able to commit a robbery a day. I was also quite timid, being afraid to attack, except in the dark. Now I can murder anyone in broad daylight, in full sight of the police.” “Last week I was married seven times, thanks to your course in Bigamy. All the girls send love.” “As cashier in a large bank, I had to struggle along on four thousand a year. Since taking your course in sandbagging, I am averaging a hundred thousand a year, and come in contact with only the best people.” “Your little tract, ‘How to Acquire a Profound Contempt for the Law,’ ought to be in the hands of every American. Before reading it, I actually thought well of Prohibition. Now I can steal anything, evade anything and kill anybody.” “T have just returned from my seventh murder, thanks to you. Your course is wonderful.” In case you wish to become a gunman, a highbinder, a sec- ond-story man, a bigamist, an embezzler or a get-rich-quick-er, consult us before others. Unfortunately, an absurd respect And then the tide plays truant as the moon Spreads out her silvery skirts across the bay, And ghosts of ships from off a dream lagoon Drift in and out and bear the soul of Day. Mary Terrill. for the law still lingers in the minds of some few Americans who know no better, and—until they are finally eliminated— some care is necessary in becoming a first-class criminal. By our methods, however, you are quite safe. We ex- amine you first to see what you can do. You would be sur- prised to know how soon you can obtain results. The fact that there are more crimes being committed every day in Amer- ica than in any other country in the world should only encour- age you to take our course, and GET INTO THE GAME RIGHT, while the going is good. At any moment now America may. be conquered by some other barbarous country, and compelled to reduce its crime wave. In this case it would be a matter of lasting regret that YOU DID NOT CON- SULT US FIRST. Try our SIX WEEKS’ COURSE IN SANDBAGGING as a starter. Hitherto Unrecorded Controversy ORD BACON: A good husband, methinks, is like unto a tail-light. SHAKESPEARE: Methinks he differs. Lorp Bacon: He is like, because he may cause trouble if allowed to go out at nights. SHAKESPEARE: Yea, old thing! useful when lit up! But a tail-light is most So eee f comicbooks.com