Life — August 11, 1921 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Had Foch Been English “If Foch had been an Englishman—” began an officer in a mess half a hundred miles behind the lines, to be interrupted disgustedly by his senior with: “Foch! Foch! If Foch had been an Englishman they'd have made him into a poor old Area Commandant, to look after the Chi- nese and see the billets were clean—like ve blankety-blank well done with 1"—London Morning Post. Impersonating an Officer “Coppers—nasty, suspicious, interfer- ing blokes,” exclaimed Bill. “Alwa: eakin’ about where they're not wanted. ates a copper. An’ now I reads in the papers about a feller being charged with pretendin’ to be one!” “A feller wot'd pretend to be a cop- per,” rejoined his pal darkly, “’ud do anythink.”—Winning Post (London). Unintelligible “Lay down, pup. Lay down. That’s a good doggie. Lay down, I tell you.” “Mister, you'll have to say, ‘Lie down’. He’s a Boston terrier.” —Nashville Tennessean. “Never put off till to-morrow putting off what you can put off to-day,” is the slogan of the 1921 bathing girl. —Louisville Courier-Journal. The Customer: Nah then, Ikey! Knock ten bob orf the price or I takes a deep bref! —Passing Show (London). A Valiant Blade Customer (with week's beard): Do you think that old razor will do it? Barser: It will, sir—if the handle don’t break!—Tit-Bits ‘London: The Test of Popularity Frederick Niven’s “A Tale That ]; Told” has a note for Jibrary ladies who want “the very latest.” Two in Glasgow asked in turn and in duet for nalt-a. dozen novels, all of which were an- nounced unprocurable with the stereo- typed: “I’m sorry, there is not « copy in at present.” At last the yout! who attended to them came triumphant!y back with a volume they had asked for. “Oh,” said one. “We won't have it, since it is in. It can’t be any good. We want books that everyone is reading.” The other agreed: “If it’s in, we don’t want it.” —Publishers’ We: kly, All in Good Time Tue Fatuer: I have been thinking, my dear boy, of retiring next year and leaving the business to you. His Propicau: There’s no hurry, is there, father dear? You go ahead and work a few years yet, and then we can retire together—Kasper (Stockholm). Getting Over the Difficulty Conpuctor (new to the job): I'm sure the old boy just here has paid his fare twice. Think I had better tell him about it? Motorman: No-o! Ask him for it again.— Bulletin (Sydney). “No woman ever takes another wom- an’s advice about frocks.” “Naturally. You don’t ask the enemy how to win the war.” —London Opinion, From a Play. Lire_is published every Thursda Great Britain, Canada and British Patent Office. $5.00 a countries in the Postal i sessions. ear in advance. inion, $1.60 3 to of publication, 25 cents. in Great Britais ly to Lene, London, Lire, Rolls House, gland. simultaneously in the United States, Title registered in U. Additional postage to foreign 3 Canada, 80 cents. current copies, 15 cents. Back numbers, after three months from date Issues prior to 1910 out of print. The text_and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights Breams Buildings, Fetter 386-388 St. James No contributions addressed envelope. non-return of unsoli Single The foreign trade supplied from Lire’s London Offic Breams Buildings, London, E. C. Street, Montreal, Canada, Rolls, House ce Canadian distributor, J. R. Tancuay ill be returned unless accompanied by stamped and 1FE does not hold itself responsible for the loss or ted contributions. Notice of change of address should reach this office two weeks prior to the date of issue to be affected. EGYPTIAN DEITIES © “The Utmost Cigarettes Plain End or Cla Tip “People of culture and refinement invariably PREFER CDeitice to any other cigarette (QM s8 ‘5 ‘SEASICK ) ‘EMED ‘The tripis spoiled if become Seasick Thousands of Travelers the world over depend upon MOTHERSILL’S SEASICK REMEDY Prevents and relieves nausea. Practically a! Steamship Companies on both fresh and salt water have officially adopted, and advise, this remedy. No cocaine, morphine, opium, chlora!, coal tar products or their derivatives nor other habit forming drugs. Sold by leading druggis's everywhere on guarantee of satisfaction or money refunded. 60c and $1.20. MOTHERSILL REMEDY. COMPANY comicbooks.com