Life — August 4, 1921 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

REE verse: the triumph of mind over meter. * * * Few heavy drinkers, according to the drys, can ever hope to rise to high places in the world. But there are many who would rather be tight than president. * * * U. S. Steel Corporation song hit:— Oh, What a Pal Was Gary! x ok Firemen Play Ball as Fire House Burns —New York Herald. It would have been much more to the point had they played hose. * © © Before entering office, public officials are will be metamorphosed into a croco- dile. * * * Future automobiles are to be made of cotton, formaldehyde and glue—News Item. We always thought that Henry Ford would eventually exhaust the world’s supply of tin. * * * Many a young lad whose real ambition is to grow up and become a successful pugilist turns into nothing but a United States Senator. x * * The conclusion of the war was recently celebrated quietly in some of our news- The Parisian Gendarmes’ historic sabres are to be replaced by clubs. And the historic slogan, “en garde,” will probably be replaced by the French for “Swat that guy!” * * * When stocks go up it is encouraging, be- cause it is evidence that somebody must have faith in something. * * * Along around the first of next January, New York voters will unite in singing, “Where, Oh, Where Has My Hylan Laddie Gone?” * * * Definition of a Dentist—A man who works chiefly on nerve. sworn in. Before leaving, cussed out. * * * Grand Opera is said to be dying out, Why not? The movies anord less competition to conversation. * * * If you think it's hard to get a telephone number, just try to get a telephone installed. * * * Two prominent deaconesses, re- turning to Zion City, Ill, after a trip East, declared that New York is far more wicked than Chicago. At the time of going to press, it is not known what the Chicago Chamber of Commerce intends to do about this gross insult. * * * “As a man thinketh, so is he,” evidently doesn’t apply to some of these birds who think they know it all. * * * Three Hundred Striking Mon- treal Pressmen Return to Work. —Headline. A reversion to type, as you might say. * * * Adam’s first remark after the Al- mighty put breath into him was: “This is the life!” - kk oe Germany hopes U. S. will soften terms, says a recent dispatch. If these honest Teutonic tears , continue, the national dachshund they are papers. Surely you remember; the one we had with Germany. By Berton Braley (es dance! I am: fed up on stunts educational, Weary and dreary, from training my mind, Bored with discussing, at teas conversational, Books and the drama and things of that kind. Let’s can the critical dope analytical, Give our brains rest and our muscles a chance, Down with the highbrow stuff—uplifted eyebrow stuff, Snuggle up close to me, Phyllis, let’s dance! Let’s dance! We have talked Aristotle and Phidias, Bernard Shaw, H. G. Wells, Henry James, Freud, Now let us yield to the rhythm insidious, Dance to the jazz it is hard to avoid; Chuck all ecstatical tunes operatical, Give to Debussy and Bach not a glance, Come on, let’s turn again backward to Kern again, Herbert and Hirsch and Berlin, and let’s dance! Let’s dance where the saxophone moans syncopatedly, Coaxing each fibre to shiver and shake, Helped by the trap-drummer, who, unabatedly, Sways to the clamor his instruments make, Blithely and breezily, lithely and easily, Clingingly, swingingly, couples advance, We'll show ’em trickery learned from Terpsichore, Phyllis, you shake a mean shimmy, let’s dance! + ak ak Pershing has authorized the wearing of Sam Browne belts by U. S. army officers. There goes the last hope of a per- manent peace. * * * America is a country on which the moonshine never sets. * * * We are relieved to hear that President Harding has been en- gaging in penny-matching con- tests with some of his Senatorial friends: It is a far more profitable pastime or our executives than the old practice of matching minds. * * * There is still too much bitters in the international cocktail. ** * Pussyfoot Johnson has arrived in ‘Copenhagen to aid in the drive for national prohibition. What was it Hamlet said about the State of Denmark? * * * A soft drink turneth away laughter. * * * * If President De Salers does suc ceed in establisifag a lasting peace withs England, it is a safc bet that the Sinn Fein populace wil? reward him with impeach- ment. * * * The end of a perfect day is a cool night. comicbooks.com