Life — July 21, 1921 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AND GENERAL USE LEWaterman Company Best for Fountain Pens and General Use is a perfect chemical compound; non- corrosive and free of sediment. It is uniform in flow and consistency; per- manent in record properties; and prac- ‘tical for all writing purposes. . It comes in Blue-black, Green, Violet, At Stationers _ Jet Black, Red and Blue; and is put up Everywhere in convenient bottles—desk style for self-filling pens—desk filler—travellers’ filler—and in pint, quart, half-gallon and gallon bottles. L. E.Waterman Company, 191 Broadway, N.Y. 129 So. State Street, Chicago 24 School Street, Boston 17 Stockton Street, San Francisco The Philosopher utters The Magic Phrase, “SUBSCRIBE TO LIFE” For the Convalescent—Laughter—Nature’s chief assistant. Special Offer Enclosed find One Dollar (Canadian $1.20, Foreign $1.40). Send Lire for three months—twelve issues—to Open only to new subscribers; no subscrip- tions renewed at this rate. Que, Neaeuss “Open Sesame” Canadian $5.80 is out of date. LIFE, 598 Madison Avenue, New York (c) Foreign $6.60 Onn mPORANIES \Seze Prohibition College Yells A contrib sends to the Tribune the following Volstead College yell: “Pommery Sec! Three X! Three X] Pommery Sec! Three X! Three X{ Margaux! Bordeaux! Clicquot! Hock!” That’s their private yell. The cheer of Anderson University, used for publie purposes, sounds more logical though less sincere. It goes: “Boom! Git a baggage-rack—fill it up with Fermillac! Boom! Git a baggage-rack—fill it up with Fermillac! Pst! Pst! Seltzer! Sis! Boom! Bah! Zoolac! Zoolac! Yah! Yah! Yah!” —New York Morning Telegraph. A Stiff Upper Lip Though the exigencies of his profession obliged Horace Hamfat to be clean- | shaven when he was acting, it was his delight to grow a moustache when he was out of a job. This little foible was also the delight of his loving friends. One day he was accosted by a fellow-mummer with the exclamation: “What ho, Horace, old boy! You don’t mean to say you've been out of work all that long moustache!” —Winning Post (London). In Boston or Vicinity “Ralph Waldo, go this instant and cut a switch from that tree, for you have been naughty and I must punish you.” “Mother, you forget I am an advo- | cate of forest conservation and as a mat- |ter of principle I cannot comply with your request.”—Florida Times-Union. | Very Appropriate | Nora: The fellow I used to keep company with has asked me to go to the firemen’s costume ball, but I don't | know what to impersonate. Maccie: Why not go as an old flame? —Michigan Gargoyle. Easily Settled “Which do you regard as more impor- tant in human happiness, pursuit or pos- session?” “Pursuit. Any man would rather go fishing than own a fish market.” —Washington Star. “A man,” once remarked Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree, the famous English actor, “never knows what’ a fool he is until he hears himself imitated by one.” —Ladies’ Home Journal. “T took that pretty girl from the store home the other night, and stole a kiss.” “What did she say?” “Will that be all?” ~-Fun Book. comicbooks.com In a Pinch, use ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE |