Life — July 14, 1921 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DMIRAL SIMS has found out that, no matter what administration hap- pens to be in office, honesty is always the worst policy. * ok * Militiaman Shoots Pueblo Looter. —Headline. . Evidently tried to knock him for a ghoul. * * * The summer engagement ring now takes its place among the vicious circles. * * * Why couldn’t the Smith Brothers get together with Haig and Haig and produce an improved prohibition cough- drop? x * * The bright side of a double life is that you get your name in the city directory twice. x ok x Wilson says he is going to keep his ideals “actively before the public.” Is he going to edit the Dear- born Independent or write for the Hearst newspapers? * * * Replicas of Ford automobiles are now burned on the gra of well-to-do natives in China to provide a means of getting about rapidly in the spirit world—New York Sun. The long sought sting of death has been discovered at last. * * * Judging from_ present-day dancing, familiarity doesn’t breed as much contempt as it ought to. * ok O* The American Humane Society is at- tempting to develop a non-skid shoe for truck horses: A non-skid vocabulary for truck drivers is far more urgently needed. * * * Decrease in Number of June Bribes —Dover Herald. That's strange, with Congress still in session. * * * If many more Americans are allowed to make speeches in London, Babe Ruth had better look to his home-run record. s all right, fellers—it’s a man, arette away.” “Chameleons, lizards and snakes,” says London Answers, “are the latest pets among society women.” Yes—couch chameleons, lounge lizards and sofa snakes. er TU He jest threw his cig- According to a prominent musici ing without an instrumental accompani- ment is the greatest test of a vocalist’s art. : Or an audience's patience. * * * an, sing- The reason dentists call their offices dental parlors is that “drawing rooms” would be too suggestive. * * * The recent solar eruptions, says Sir Oliver Lodge, may result in increased sunshine for the remainder of the year. Did you get that information straight from the ouija board, Sir Oliver, or did you make it up yourself? Miss Hilda Kershaw, aged nine, has just completed her second crossing of the Atlantic. Evidently on an boat. extraordinarily slow * * * The auctioneer’s idea of sell- ing for a song is knocking the article down for a rousing ar- peggio of bank notes. x * * A rocking horse with a hollow body was recently used to smuggle contraband goods in- to India. “A horse on them,” muttered the wraith of Priam, with a ghost of a smile. x ok + It is idle to say that prohibi- tion has made no difference in the lives of thirsty New Yorkers. It has. Where they used to ‘order a highball or a rickey they now ask the waiter for ginger ale or a tea- cup. Truly, the old order changeth. + %* * “Zyxt” is the last word in the new Oxford Dictionary. We understand that many of our more argumentative wo- menfolk are feverishly trying to learn how “Zyxt” is pro- nounced. * ok * The U. S. Treasury is richer by $400,000 as a result of a brief meeting between two professional fighters. Why not further cut down the national debt by letting Tex Rickard stage a few meetings of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee with power to charge admis- sion to all bouts? * * * Corsets Are Back Again, Modistes—Headline. The instrument hi for its staying qualit * * * Declare Paris s been noted Smallpox In The Jail—HHeadlinc. Just another successful attempt at break- ing out. * * * The mills of the gods grind slowly, -yhich proves the mills have been unionized. comicbooks.com