Life — June 30, 1921 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Smile and the World Smiles With You A Matter of Looks—A homely young English chap, having his view obstructed by the headgear of the girl in front of him, ventured to protest. “See here, miss,” he said leaning over, “I want to look as well as you.” “Oh, do yer?” she replied, in a srich Cockney accent, “Then you'd better run tome and change yer fice. —Boston Transcript. Assiduous—Father (visiting his son's room at college): Has it gone so far that n't stop drinking while you study? On the contrary, dad, I can’t stop studying even when I drink. —Kasper (Stockholm). Unreasonable— Customer (in cating house): "Ere, take this back, guv’nor— there's three flies in it! Proprietor (with heat): Well, what dyer expect fer a penny—butterflies? —IWVindsor Magazine (London), The Center of the Stage—" Henry, do you sce that man trying to flirt with me “No, my dear, how can 1? standing right in the way —Sans-Géne (Paris). They Might—* Pap: asked little Clementine, “if they made stockings out of Irish poplin, would they call them Sinn Feinery? ""—Michigan Gargoyle. You are Preparedness —We ought to be ready for peace. We've been almost three years preparing for it—Brooklyn T i Pots | fA OUR} i RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION “WHAT! BEGGING FROM ME? AND NERE 1 AM JUST ON MY WAY HOME FROM A CHARITY BALL I" —Die Muskete (Vienna). Scoytmaster: You WAVE : FOUND GUILTY OF A GRAVE DERELIC- TION OF DUTY, SMITH, IN WAR-TIME THE PENALTY IS DEATH, YOU WILL NOW BE FINED TworENce.—Repro- duced from Punch (London) by ar- rangement with the proprietors A False Start—Mrs. Newlywed (press- ing husband's trousers): Well, Robert, if all wives did as I am doing, this country would have a different aspect. Robert: Yes, my dear; the men would be wearing their trousers creased on the side—Lustige Blatter (Berlin). Does This Hit You?—An_ evangelist had tacked to a tree at the intersection of two roads a sign bearing this advice: “Prepare to meet thy God.” And then along came a man from the State highways department who placed a sign right below it with the single word: “ Detour.” —American Legion Weekly. This Side the Three-mile Limit— “There's wan goovernmint job Oi'd like to have.” “What's that “Collictorr o° the Porrt.” —Harvard Lampoon. The Conclusion —Profiteer’s Secretary (with newspaper): Bad news! Control by the working classes and a crisis of un- employment. Profiteer: Yes . . . we'll have to have another big war—Le Peuple (Paris). Hamlet in Suburbia —The times are out of joint, O cursed spite: one place your watch is wrong; another, right. —Wall Street Journal. In Bleakest Scotland—English Pas- senger (on Highland coach): Of course, you're well acquainted with the country round about here. Do you know Glen Accron? Driver: Ay, weel, English Passenger (who has just bought the What sort of a place is it? Well, if ye saw the de'il tethered on’t, ye’d say: “ Puir brute!” —Pearson's Weekly (London) The Vacancy Filled—“ Old man, if you don't want to pay a tax on your servants, do as I have done—marry your chamber- ible, old thing—I've just married my cook!"—Le Journal Amusant (Paris) Arkansaw Dramatic Note— Ah-chee Ledgerwood, a ham-bone actor from Hot Water’ Springs, played “ Hamlet” in the old Opera House last week, and had a run of about six miles. He wasn’t called before the curtain; they just dared —Arkansaw Thomas Cat The Legacy —“Our friend has left everything to the Orphan Asylum.” “How much—a large fortune?” “No; five boys and a girl.” —Hojas Selectas (Barcelona). Sacrilege!—The Girl (at the cinema): Look ‘ere, Bert, ain't you got no more sentiment than to crunch peppery while there's a love scene goin’ on? —Royal Magazine (L The Veteran (to his partner): SEE THERE, OLD MAN, HOW FUNNY LEGS MAKE YOU 100K. —Numero (Turin). comicbooks.com