Life — June 30, 1921 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Letters of a Japanese Schoolboy O Editor “Lire Humorous G 7 Tove so fearlussly go at things with- out making bones Dearest Sir:—Since the umportant date of July approaches up with fire- cracking noise of patriotic banzai I wish ask you one imellectual reply. Where Americans can I go on July 4 to watch celebrate this Hon, Birthday of U.S.? Tam curio to know this answer, Quite Cousin recently of Nogi expression yore my approach to me and quote, Amer- with rye “Toxo, we shall study ican customs at night school. I shall show you where July 4th is being manufactured.” I feel very Jeery, so he show me one page of printing to say: PATRIOTS ATTENTION!!! GIANT MASH MEETING AT SINNFEINBURG’S HALL TO ARRANGE JULY EXERCISES \LL COME FREE AUB p.m Nogi simultaneous (midnight saving) me and was there umony a very crowd of pushers, Pasriotism everywhere smilax of faces, in cluding slight warfare when two (2) Irishes come together. on happy * Japan is defeated when meet- ing such b icans,” T dict e & fierce Amer- ¢ to Nogi “Hissy!" he say it when seated .“ Hon. air have arisen to speak a keynote.” “Kamerads,” explan that dignified fur- niture on high platform, “pleasant wel- come to all! So glad, by golly, see such many people admiring freedom and egger to celebrate Birthday of Liberty.” (Noises.) “Flags of all nations, except U.S. Gt. Britten & Fran round this room, are artistically draped Those bright banners we could not include because 4 hurt somebody's feclings.” (Applauds.) “Nextly on Hon. Chair, “will be Grand Master of cere- monies, Herr Terence von Grogan, who d to program,” dictate will relate to you Line of March.” “Fellow soviets,” Herr von Grogan say so, “1 greet you in name of illustrus com- rads, George Washingstein and Abrah Linconski. Motto of our July 4 parade “DEMON DAVE THE WISHT ONE. GL hich Fourth Is American ? By WALLACE IRWIN will be Fairness to Nearly All. Therefore 1 will tell you our line of march. his grav by N.Y. Poli helmets with orange spikes. Force, wearing green We have in- vited \ golden England.’ ayor Hylan to come nestly, riding chariot labelled ‘Gott Strafe No reply as yet. Nextly will y militia display will be led * YE READIN’, MICKEY ?” DEATH NOTCH DESTROYER.” NCE OF ME COLD GRAY EYE WOU BLOOD FREEZE 1N THEIR VEINS, “WHAT PEOPLE come artistic float entitled ‘ Horrors on the Hudson,’ showing Hon, Emma Goldman being chaperoned to Petrograd by wicked bourgoisie of Federal Secret Service. "To those Kragsliederfestbund making music of new ntl. anthem ‘The Star Mangled Banner.’ Chorus of this are like these: “The Star M Too long does she siphon follow will come German O'er the land of the free And the home of the hyphon.’ all.) rman-American (Song enjoyed “ Nextly cadets in uniform of Imperial Flammen- Japan-American brass band will will come € werfer. leading Kusso-American Ladies’ rd Ma titled ‘Let Us Forget’ will show German printers’ union manufacturing 1,000,000,000 follow Red Gua ching Club. Float en- francs indemnity in 24 hours prejudiced The Un- Irish-American Fein Ladies’ Benevolent Association will pass through the crowd collectir marines to blow up En, Sinn $$ for sub land. Line of march will walk to Shootingfester's Park where Central European Association of Wilson Haters will serve hombru-hooch drink) while Declaration of Independence ar read in Ukranian by Debs.” Hon. von stop. for enjoy cough, then ask it “We hope happy July 4 wil be enjoyed by all in our which ivodka (national Eugene \ Grogan parade will be Internationalist as pussible. Therefore I ask to know. Has any nation not beer mentioned for our exercises Upon some excitement emerged in middle of hall. We Ie ( wounded soldier stand there this enlarged question clining slightly on his crutch “Tf convenient I shall mention small but nation not included in your par- ade,” he admit with h one self-determined “We listen patiently,” Hon. Chair.“ Which corr please ? “ United Hon. Soldier. “Ah! In serush of work we cannot think of everything. Are States,” snuggest you an American?” “T are.” “Which kind ?” Which kind have you ?” German-American, Irish-Ame Russian-American, — Finnish-American— “So sorrow,” report this crude Yanki doodle fellow, “I am merely Americ: “Where is the other half of you?” sna, Chair. “T left it in France,” dib Hon. Soldier, “but that was Such persons like you make Progress walk backwards,” snarrel Hon, Chair Our 20,000,008 drive those S. r Hon. American too.” “Next. subjeck: for Filipino war bonds to delicious islands from cruel yoke of t Hon. Soldier stompe out with month free full of Pershing language Hoping you are the same, Yours truly, Hasuiatues Too, comicbooks.com