Life — June 23, 1921 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ROVER CLEVELAND BERG- DOLL'S application for German citizenship may be taken as a certain in- dication that Germany is not preparing for a new war. ees What's all this talk about “ intoxicating air”? The only man that ever got a respectable kick out of the atmosphere was Benjamin Franklin. see The Thirteen Original Col- onies were lucky. They had a Constitution without amend- ments. eee Antal Papp, Bishop of the Uniates Church, has refused to take the oath of allegiance to the Czechoslovakian Republic. S'matter, Papp? ee Men's feet are known as “dogs,” but all the barking is done on their shins, see “T'll disarm if you will,” said one gunman to another. Then they shot each other to death. see Here's something that calam- ity howlers won't deny. Divorce can never become more wide- spread than marriage. ry J° ‘of a hay rake. the cove last week an’ like to pulled his gizzard out Bolshevism of the radical form of two years ago is dead, according to Congressman Chandler of New York. So are a great many thou- sands of its victims. eee High Heels Losing Ground tryin’ to move it is to let them think they are having their own way, and the only way to do that is to let them have it. eee Describing the shimmy as danced “by natives in America,” the London Daily News declares that it is “such a fatiguing business that after two dances the natives have to be carried out of the ring ex- hausted.” Drool, Britannia. LOCAL GossIP E SMALLY has been experimentin’ on a contrivance fer diggin’ clams more scientifical. (To be continued in our next.) It's on the idea He gut it stuck inter the mud down by But he couldn't budge it, so he hed to go back hum fer a spade to dig it aout. Mel Slocum hes been a-diggin’ at the flats regular for forty years, an’ he sez the wust uv it is the dumfengled machinery hes scairt the clams all away. The gas company is to be commended for keeping quarter-meters at twenty-five cents. =: See The only regret Mrs. Grundy ever en- tertained was that she had two ears for hearing gossip and only one tongue to re- peat it. eee The Communist Party in Russia—the real rulers of that country—number less than 10,000 members.—Samuel Gompers. Pooh! That's nothing. Our intellectuals—including the edi- torial staffs of the New Re public, the Freeman, the Nation, and H. L, Mencken—number less than 100, And look at us! eee A fussy person is a chap that refuses to take a life preserver because there's a hole in it. see Einstein could have told Germans that the inevitable is never relative. eee A literacy test for incoming aliens wouldn't keep down im- migration half so much as mak- ing them read the Constitutional amendments. se ¢ “Tame” ferrets are quite likely to bite the hand that feeds them, The radical red, we take it, of the animal kingdom. eee A man is known by the dog that precedes him down the street—Gove (Kan.) Re- publican-Gazette. How about the man with the Even in France. —Literary Digest. This looks like an opening for some wide-awake ground-gripper salesman. eee A well-informed person is one who knows that an octoroon is not a double quartet. sae With prohibition sleuths so active, it is getting harder for youth to be served. eee The only way to get along with women Won't Mr. Edison kindly ask Police Commissioner Enright why burglary in- surance rates are going up if the crime wave is going down? eee “Export of Czechoslovak hams is to be again allowed,” says the Czechoslovak Review. Haven't we had enough of these Russian dramas? dog that sits down on the side- walk and has to be dragged? eee The many earnest persons who believe the Allied war debt should be canceled will learn with regret that Mr. Bryan has lately come out in favor of it. eee A small box will be reserved at the ring- side for those who pronounce Carpentier's name in four syllables. comicbooks.com