Life, 1921-06-09 · page 9 of 38
Life — June 9, 1921 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"Things I Don't Want to Do Before I Die"** by Dorothy Parker is a humorous bucket-list inversion—listing activities she'll avoid rather than pursue. Items like "Tour Chinatown," "Attend a salmigundi party," and "Read 'The Outline of History' aloud" mock pretentious cultural pursuits and tedious social obligations common among educated Americans. **The cartoon below** depicts a domestic quarrel about kissing, with the woman asking if a girl should kiss a boy; the man refusing unless the boy objects—a commentary on dating customs and negotiated consent. **"Censorship"** is a serious editorial discussing film industry censorship, arguing that restricting "salacious" content delays inevitable social progress. The piece opposes censoring movies about love and beauty.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
June 9 Things I Don’t Want to Do Before I Die UR Chinatown. te for a walk along the Palisades. Develep snapshots at home. Attend a salmagundi party, Own a pianola. Read the works Ibafiez. Fish through the ice. Subscribe for a course of lectures on of Vicente Blasco current events. Pose for a silhouette portrait. Take part in an amateur musical comedy. Enter a contest to supply a missing line for a limerick. Watch a yacht race. See the Ben Greet Players in “ Every- man, Fire at traveling ducks in a shooting gallery. Eat yeast. Take a trolley trip through New Eng- land. Hear a recitation in French-Canadian dialect. Read “ The Outline of History” aloud. Go through a breakfast food factory. Learn to make lampshades. Save coupons, Perform tricks with matches, Keep a guest-book. | Purchase a patent adjustable pencil. Meet a moving picture director. Carve my initials on Bunker Hill Monu- ment Dorothy Parker. : Do you believe a girl should ever kiss a boy? He: Not if the boy objects to it. Mrs. Nubride Mrs. Young: ARE YOU THE ONE THAT'S BEEN RINGING THAT BELL FOR THE LAST HALF HOUR? Patient: yes, CONFOUND IT, I— “WELL, CUT IT OUT; DO YOU WANT TO WAKE UP THE NIGHT NURSE?” 1 HAD HYSTERICS LAST NIGHT AND I'M ALL IN, HAVE THEM? NO, INDEED, MY HUSBAND GIVES ME EVERYTHING I ASK FOR, Censorship HE destruction of a great industry is predicted by movie magnates if censorship prevails. The destruction of a great people is predicted if salacious films prevail. Which will you have? No combination in restraint’of immorality can unsex a ma- jority. Only a majority can unsex itself. Censorship is like putting varnish over a knothole. The only great sex industry that has hitherto held its own against time is the human race. All others have failed, in the nature of things. The majority do not batten on sex. They prefer decency. Salacious films attract unsteady minorities. Films of love, beauty and sentiment attract steady majorities, To censor the movies is to delay the time when the movie magnates will make this discovery. DID YOU EVER ‘RUTH is elastic. Don't stretch it unless you want it to fly back and sting you. comicbooks.com