Life — June 2, 1921 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“POSSIBLY YOU PREFERRED MR, ROOT?” Sanctum Talks “CX OOD morning, Lire.” “Bless me! Good morning, Mr. Hughes! Land sakes! It seems only yesterday that you were running for President.” “And if it hadn't been for California—” “And Hiram J.— what a difference it might have made. But don't let’s think of Hiram, or the past. I congratulate you upon your responsibilities !” “Then you believe in responsibilities, Lire “T certainly do, Mr. Hughes. The more of them the other fellow has, the better I like it “T didn’t know but possibly— “Don't hesitate to speak right out. Our office cat is an in- articulate member of the sterner sex.” “Possibly you preferred Mr. Root in my place ? “No! No! No! I wouldn't go so far as to say that. Our ablest men seldom have had conferred upon them the doubtful distinction of high public office. Mr. Root is an extraordinary person; but then, in a manner of speaking, so are you.” “You've been critical of me, Lire. When I was in Albany. “T've been critical of myself, Mr. Hughes. Some of my dullest issues even now rise up to haunt me, like spectres.” “Have you any suggestions to make ?” “Not at present, Mr. Secretary. I don’t want to discourage you too much at the start. Do the best you can, and when you really get stuck, why, call on me.” “Thank you, Lire, I—” “Oh, by the way, Mr. Hughes, I'm glad you've helped out the travelers by cutting out unnecessary passports. Of course we don’t want any fool trouble-makers to get loose outside our premises, but it’s just as well to remove the red tape.” « Pity Lire, we can’t do it with the disabled soldiers.” “Yes, yes, Mr. Hughes. Then you could say of them what you say now of an American traveler—he's got the U. S. Gov- ernment back of him. “Right you are, Lire! Anything more?” “All T can think of just now, Mr. Hughes. Go out and do the best you can, and remember, I’m back of you. If any nation causes trouble, I'll straighten you out. Good morning!" “ G-g-g-good morning, Lire.” T.L.M. LIFE Success ! COMMENCEMENT time has come and with it, of course, the baccalaureate sermon. The President faces the senior class, sturdy of mien in their bone-rim glasses. He clears his throat in a presidential manner. “Gentlemen,” says President Wumpus, “we have come to the parting of the ways. You are standing on the threshold of life. The world is before you. Each of you will seck success and I shall impart the secret of its capture. It is work, work, WORK: Of the varied tasks that confront you all, nothing but perspiring brows and mental toil can make for their achieve. (and so forth for three thousand words, and But remember, the message of the day is ment... then—) WORK.” The senior class has listened and is impressed. to be. Here’s what the boys are going to do: Six of them are going to paint china. One hundred and three will write plays. Four are going in for Socialism. Nine have started studying Baedeker. Two will design art titles for the movies. It ought One will be a professional perfume smeller. Twelve will enter the crap-shooting industry equipped with loaded dice. Four will operate popcorn concessions at summer parks. Three will take a canoe trip up the Amazon. One will become business agent of a plumbers’ union Two hundred and nine will write short stories, novels and scenarios. Twenty-one will go to Greenwich Village. Three wili chase butterflies. Four will be designers of women’s hats. One will become social secretary to an Arkansas Congress- man. Forty-one will start immediately for Europe. Seven will enter advertising and pi And two of them will go to work. ‘ure-puzzle contests. Neal R. O'Hara. HY is it that summer resort owners, in advertising their places, are beginning to use the phrase “intoxicating air"? THE OLD, OLD STORY The Iyuanodon: WE LOVES ME, LOVES ME NOT, LOVES ME. comicbooks.com pe