Life — May 26, 1921 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

To a Lady Troubled by Insomnia Let the waves of slumber billow Gently, softly o'er thy pillow; Let the darkness wrap thee round Till in slumber thou art drowned; Let my tenderest lullabies Guard the closing of thine eyes; If these fail to make thee weary, Then I cannot help thee, dearie. —F. P. A., in The Bookman, The Long Arm—Two Methodist preachers, one white and the other colored, . : served rural charges in Mississippi which $5: becaus t were conterminous. The negro received — e 1t 1s a considerably larger salary than his white brother, who asked him if it was not his more than a razor custom to expel his members who failed to pay. “ No, boss,” he replied, “we would not like to put the gospel on a money basis. We gets them to subscribe, and if they don't pay we turns them out for lying."—Memphis Commercial Appeal —made to strop its own blades IRDINARY razor blades cannot be stropped— Megaphones in Oil—We recently read except with stropping devices that must be of one of our newly rich paying $250, bought and used separately. These blades soon begin for an old master, and were reminded of to “pull”? and must be thrown away. a remark made by Robert Henri, the artist, You can avoid this needless discomfort and waste any aera : To ai nallliogsire ot of money, The Valet AutoStrop Razor is made to master is merely a megaphone strop its own blades. Quick, easy, convenient! A money to talk through.” fresh edge in ten seconds every morning—without —Roston Transcript. removing the blade! The complete set—silver-plated A Sheep of the Old Block—The kcen- razor, selected strop and a year's supply of blades eyed woman looked at the meat displayed —$5.00 and satisfaction guaranteed. Any dealer on the butcher’s stall for some minutes, will gladly show you the Valet AutoStrop Razor. ae then. exclaimed: “Is that English mutton ? “Well, as a matter of fact,” replied the vAler butcher, “the sheep was born in New ut trop zor Zealand. But, madam,” he added in tri- umph, “it is of English parents !" —Tit-Bits (London) Law was Obeyed—“I see it was ‘ against the old blue laws to kiss your AutoStrop Safety Razor Co., New York, Toronto, London, Paris wife on a Sunday.” “True” “What was the penalty ?” “Dunno. No husband was ever brought up on charges.” EGYPTIAN i —Lonisville Courier-Journal. D E I | I S Tit for Tat —The Artist (to model): > Oj a Disrobe, and I'll see if you can pose for *“TheUtmost in Cigarettes” f me “Plain &nd or Cork Tip The Model: Show me one of your sketches first, and I'll see if I ought to People of culture and pose for you—Le Rire (Paris). refinement invariably Dignity of Labor—Foreman: What is all PREFER. Deities to any that arguing down the road? i Laborer: (indignantly): Why, the man other cigarebbe~ running the steam-roller wants us to call " y him a chauffeur. —Pearson's Weekly (Londen). Sharpens itself—saves constant blade expense The Outrage—(Gentleman has been arrested): Arrest me as if | had stolen a watch? Just because I walked off with six millions of war charities? What times are we living in, sirs, what times! —Le Journal Amusant (Paris). A Wheeze —A news report says the pug dog has become extinct. As we remember the pug dog he was always breathing his last.—Toledo Blade. Conservative Estimate — “She says she'll ruin him in a month.” Oh! He's a millionaire, then?” —Sans-Géne (Paris). comicbooks.com