Life — April 28, 1921 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Germany Must Pay” !—Sounder Lire’s Famous Correspondent Would Levy a Tax on the Enemy’s Steinpower By GLUYAS WILLIAMS (Special Correspondence.) ia asso April 23—Germany must pay! That, the Allies at present demand (my mind does not grasp any figure fter months of study, is my decision in the repara- over $500, so I shall not dispute tions controversy. Because of the startling nature of the decision, let me say that I cid not reach it hastily. On the contrary, I studied the ith as much deliberation as Mrs. Sounder uses in se- lecting a hat. In order to familiarize myself with German tabits ¢/ thought I read (with total lack of success) several mes of Kant, Nietzsche, and Schopenhauer ; and in order to te absolutely fair-minded, I even trained myself to think in German. both high and low. I should add that I had to aban- don the last practice, because if I let my thoughts run long in the German tongue my craving for a draught of Culmbacher became more than flesh could stand. My verdict is, then, the result of no snap judgment, yet I hold it entirely possible that German statesmen will not agree with it’ Their opposition is based largely on three arguments, which Herr Ebert enumerated to me when I was in Germany last summer, #. ens,” he said, wiping a tear -from his eye, “we did not cause the war. Zweitens, the war was forced upon us. Drittens, the war was not caused by us.” the amount), I have hit on a brilliant scheme. Why not make the paying of this vast sum a pleasure to the German people instead of a hardship? Indeed, under my plan, paying the in- demnity might become the great national sport of the Fatherland. matter 1 suggest nothing more than a simple beer tax, say 10 pfen- nigs a stein. The total popula- tion of Germany is about $5,000,000; deducting 5,000 who are disqualified as being under two years of age, and assuming conservatively an HERR EBERT ENUMERATED THE THREE ARGUMENTS average ca- TO ME pacity of five steins a day, we get a total national capacity of 91,250,000,- 000 steins a year, In other words, the Allies * would receive a little more than 9,000,- 000,000 marks a year, which would pay This frame of mind prevails through- ff the indemnity in about twenty-five out Ge Hinunt wald, | did come upon a peasant who really believed that his country was re- sponsible for the but as he believed himself to be a coddled egg that had had an unfortunate love affair with the queen of Egypt, my original premise may be allowed to stand. In my opinion the Allies should treat this German attitude as a psycho-ana- lytical complex and should humor it. If any. eschlagenbad in the Schwartz- war, also they drew up a solemn compact fixing the war-guilt on the Liberian Republic, 1 feel confident that Germany would agree to any indemnity terms, In considering the terms for paying the $35,500,000,000 that THE PLAN HE TRY MIGHT PRODUCE ANOTHER GREAT NATIONAL REALLY BELIEVED THAT HIS COUN- WAS RESPONSIBLE While taking the cure at y FOR THE stimulate range contests on the order of the Schiitzenfeste of the pas! ars instead of forty two. I need not dwell on the virtues of my plan. By taxing a necessity, the Allies would make sure of getting their money the supervision would be easy—a meter, affixed to each stein, registering the num- ber of times it was filled, would be enough. Private advices from Germany assure me that the plan would be popular there, es- pecially among certain carefully regulated husbands, who would find a forbidden pleasure raised to a patriotic duty. To vity the German government would probably ar- War, and it might well sce fit to award a medal to anyone exceeding HERO, a certain number of steins a day. Who can tell but that the plan might produce another great national hero, who should rescue Germany from debt? I should be glad to put my plan at the disposal of the Allies, but, in loyalty to my party, I cannot do so. x-Senator Bourne, of the Republican Publicity Association, has announced that the United States will take no part in the reparatio: controversy, and that we are out of Europe. I am inclined to feel that if we are out of Europe, Europe itself may be out—about $55,500,000,000, which will not improve the betting odds on our re- covering our loans to the Allies. If Smith were dead-broke and owed me $50, and Jones owed Smith . I should be inclined to take an active interest in whether Jones paid Smith. But of course I am in entire accord with the views of my party. Senator Sounder. comicbooks.com