Life — April 14, 1921 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

VERY time the clock ticks a dollar comes to John D. Rockefeller. It pays to keep a clock well oiled. eee English misrule in Ireland is only equalled by Irish misrule in New York. eae We can’t have peace at any price so long as the pacifists keep on fighting. President Harding has a well- The vagaries of daylight-saving legisla- tion render it impossible for anybody but a lawyer and mathematician combined to take time by the forelock. ees Uncle Sam measures about five billions all around the waste. see He's a wise novelist who knows his own screen child. DIPLOMACY, Drink to me only with thy lies, And I will hedge with mine, And leave my quibble in the cup To counter one of thine. see The real reason that a man swears at a dull razor is because the d— thing loses its temper first. eee Even the most fanatical dry deserved reputation for kindli- ness, but he’s the first of our ex- ecutives to compel the Vice- President to do a bit of work now and again. see In Russia it takes wheelbarrow loads of several paper money to buy a wheelbarrow. Outside of this condition, Bol- shevism seems to have been a grand success, financially and in- dustrially. oes It’s pleasant to mail a letter with the reflection that where there’s a Will Hays there's a way. cee The man who tries to hide be- hind a woman's skirt these days wouldn't get very far. see The European powers would like to know if they overrated Uncle Sam as a promising young man. see “ Take good care of the mint,” urges ex-President Wilson. He always liked the South. eee Reparation without taxation seems to be the German idea. eee FOGABALLAD. Some call it Sin Fine, and some speak of Shin Fane, And all of ’em talk by the hour; But whether it's Shin, or whether it’s Sin, There’s none of 'em mention just where we come in On the private affairs of a Power. eee The courts appear to hold that stealing liquor is no crime. But it’s a most un- neighborly act. NO, TILLIE, NO MORE PIE. must admit that we should multiply the bars at Ellis Island. see Burleson is said to be the onfy retired Cabinet officer who will not write a book. It must be admitted that nature did not de- sign him for a man of letters see Gabriele d’Annunzio is always making trouble for his neighbors. He has just married an Italian pianiste. oes A British girl, heiress to some two hundred million dollars, re- cently read a twenty-line poem by an obscure bard in Greenw Village, and was so greatly im- pressed that she proceeded to marry him, This is the first time that a poet has been known to receive ten million dollars a line for his verse. Tashaven eee ALREADY.” Taxing excess profits at present is like tapping a vacuum for a drink. see Magazine stories about triumphant Cave Men are written by small, bald, henpecked gentlemen with pale, discouraged whis- kers. eee A sculptor in Boston was recently fined $10 for carving a statue on Sunday. If he had been carving a turkey it would have cost him still more. Speak well of your enemies. Remem- ber you made them, YOU'VE HAD TWO PIECES JT, GRAN’MA, I'VE GOT LOTS 0’ ROOM LEFT.” It’s called the middle class be- cause it’s between the Devil and the deep sea. ees Testimony is conflicting re- garding the present industry of the German people, but there's no doubt that a part of the Fatherland is thoroughly occupied. eee IT BEATS THE DEVIL, The devil he sent a wicked wind To blow the skirts knee-high, But the skirts were already up to the knee And nobody batted an eye. eee The New York Tribune wishes to re- vive “the reading of Rabelais.” Why? It's hard enough to dodge the divorce stories in the daily press. comicbooks.com