Life — April 14, 1921 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

By Ivan Mariner. Part III. ITTLE is known of that vast, un- mapped. territory of sunset” cluded, after long and exhaust in the Peace Conference, within the boundaries of the new state—Vulgaria. The reports of returned travelers are hardly to be credited; they vary so in de- tail. But they are all agreed in describ- ing the natives as a kindly, industrious people, hospitable to strangers, and high- There is satisfactory evidence, too, that they have developed “beyond the bourn called Suburbia which was in- debate ly domesticated. a certain rude culture: their houses, although of strange design and stranger decoration, are comfortable and commod- ious; and they-are supposed to have in- vented furniture and fly- screens. The more prosperous among them are restive and ambitious, and not infrequently emigrate to Profiteeria; but for the most part, they are a stable, de- pendable people, concerned only with the day’s work and the night’s rest. Such, then, in epitome, is the story of the component parts of the Greater Vulgaria. The curious who seek for larger detail “ Mission” have to wait for the next edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica, unless they have access to the archives of the Supreme Council. A glance at the ac- companying map, arranged under the supervision of the cartographic section of the Conference, gives an adequate idea of the location and boundaries of the several provinces. It will be noted that there is secret no outlet to the sea, an omission that was the cause of long and bitter dispute; for the Vulgarians from time beyond mem- ory have held possession of nearly every strip of seashore in the world; and a cer- tain notorious writer of very free verse, no doubt wishing to emulate the adve tures of the polled poct of Fiume, threa ened to lead an expedition to take posses- sion of Palm Beach. The matter was happily compromised, however, by the es- tablishment of a neutral corridor to the Dead Sea, where the privil of bathing will be held in perpetuity. - In none of their deliberations did the statesmen of the Conference show greater sagacity than in the settlement of this delicate situation, As to the form of government to be LIFE adopted, in all probability it will be deter. mined by a plebiscite, which just as prob. ably will result in the selection of some form of enlightened anarchy. Who knows but what if let alone the Vulgar. ians may destroy themselves? Anyhow, segregation will allow an unhappy world to breathe more freely. Commercially Speaking (A Villanelle) LOVE to write these Gallic rhymes For one may pen, without deceit, And sell the same line many times. \ Villanelle, for instance, chimes With lilt of laughter gay and fleet; I love to write these Gallic rhymes. It pays in dollars and in dimes, For one can make his verse complete And sell the same line many times. (Commercialism oft begrimes The muse, but aren't these triplets neat?) I love to write these Gallic rhymes. Yes, when one on Parnassus climbs It’s quite convenient to repeat And sell the same line many times, Ah, how the true afflatus primes My Pegasus to trot a heat, I love to write these Gallic rhymes And sell the same line many tir Berton Dad’s Definition what is an average man?” Braley “P we all think we aren't, but mostly are.” n average man, Tiberius, is what “ HAT are the classics, anywa “Oh, they're the ones you buy for a dollar down and a dollar a month.” HE first thing that a man learns after he gets married is that he snores BELONGS THE GUM comicbooks.com th ‘ é : er ee Saeed