Life, 1921-03-31 · page 28 of 34
Life — March 31, 1921 — page 28: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces from *Life* magazine: **Top: "Rumor"** – A visual joke about how gossip distorts facts. Three men on a dock relay increasingly garbled information about a woman's boat, with each retelling becoming more absurd. The humor lies in the exaggerated dialect and the telephone-game effect of misinformation spreading. **Main Story: "Where the Sea Lion Meets His Fate"** – A allegorical tale satirizing restless youth and parental anxiety. Young seal "Adolphus" complains about his comfortable San Francisco life, yearning for broader horizons (New York, Paris, adventure). His mother embodies provincial contentment and propriety, horrified when he expresses aspirations beyond his station—especially his fantasy of becoming a fur cape, which she interprets as willingness to associate with morally questionable people. The satire targets both youthful ambition and class anxiety: the mother fears her son will lose respectability by chasing dreams or mixing with "profiteers." Written by Henry William Hanemann, it reflects early 20th-century tensions between tradition and modernity.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
RUMOR “BILL WEED TOLE ME TH’T ED WATERS TOLE HIM TH’T YOU TOLE ED YOUR DARNED OLE HOOKER WUZ A BATTLESHIP IN THE CIVIL WAR. DO NOTHIN’ o’ TH’ KIND! “Y TELL YE I DIDDED Where the Sea Lion Meets His Fate “A AMMA,” said the young seal, as he thoughtfully rolled over on his “I'm getting pretty big. I'm tired ing off and on and around this old It's time I did something definite about my career.” “Why, Adolphus! For shame! You live among the very best seals in Cali- fornia, Every night you see the movies on the end of the pier. You are being constantly admired by tourists. Bathing beauties, cinema stars—"” “ Bathing beauties—bah! I’m sick of 'em. I'm sick of San Francisco.” “Why, Adolphus!" said Mamma Seal. “Why, we have the best clima—” “Mother, if you say anything about the California climate, I'I—I’ll bark! Haven't you any imagination? San Francisco isn’t the whole world, you know. Neither,” EIGHTEEN SIXTY-ONE.” he added sarcastically, “is Los Angeles.” Mamma Seal sniffed. She was a stanch Californian, “Sh-h!” she said. “Don’t let anybody around here hear you say that. This sounds like your uncle. Ever since he became first violin in the Seal Symphony Orchestra at the Pavilion he’s been coming out to Sunday dinner and saying wild things. . I suppose you want to go on the stage and balance a tennis ball on your nose?” “It might be fun,” sighed the child. “And see the world from cheap the- atres and travel in a cramped, dirty tank and be at the mercy of some uneducated, immoral human. No, my dear, I ap- preciate your feelings. As a modern mother, I am perfectly willing to discuss your career in a sane, intelligent fashion. But—my Adolphus a performing seal? Ugh!” she shuddered. “I could send you to New York to visit your cousins.” “Huh!” Adolphus expressed fine dis- Wo'T D'YE MEAN BY LYIN’ LIKE THAT!” I TOLE ED'S BROTHER TH'T SHE WUZ BUILT IN dain. “ They live in the Bronx concrete grotto and a two-by- ming pool. I don’t want to see New York that way.” “Well, what do you want?” “Oh, I don’t know something. " His eyes grew misty and far-away with the hopes and ambitions that strug- gled to find expression, “There's not much in the world for a seal to do, is there? I would like to go to New York +. and Paris . . . and London . Do you know, sometimes I think I'd like to be a beautiful, glossy fur cape, with a beautiful chinchilla collar. Mamma Seal gave her wayward child a smart slap with her right front flipper. “ Adolphus, be quiet this instant!” she commanded indignantly. “Glossy fur cape, indeed! I won't have any son of mine hanging around a common profiteer’s vulgar daughter!” Henry William Hanemann. comicbooks.com