Life, 1921-03-31 · page 14 of 34
Life — March 31, 1921 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical humor piece by Don Marquis featuring multiple philosophical definitions of "life" from various perspectives (the Scientist, the Infant, the Undertaker, etc.). The central cartoon by James Montgomery Flagg depicts two figures in formal attire—appearing to be wealthy gentlemen—with a caption "TO PREVENT ENNUI" referencing the Indigo Laws and lamp-post behavior, suggesting satirical commentary on boredom-driven mischief among the idle rich. The piece mocks different social classes and worldviews through absurdist definitions. Below is a separate short story, "A Lesson to Him," about a character named Rafferty abandoning a mining claim. The overall tone is typical early-20th-century American satirical humor targeting pretension and human folly across social strata.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
IFE (says the Scientist) is the product of certain chemical reactions. . Life (says the Infant) is kisses and castor oil. . Life (says the Undertaker) is an annoy- ing obstacle in the way of logical business expansion. What Is Life? By Don Marquis magnificent, a stupendous, a miraculous affair. It produced David Wark Griffith . Life (says the Suburbanite) is the 7:12 in the morning and the 6:17 at night and the 7:12 in the morn- ing and the 6:17 at night . and Life (says the Egg) is something I will pass on to a chicken, if Fate does not pluck me from the nest and poach me~ first. . Life (says the Mystic) is something I trust Death to lead me to. . Life (says the Was- trel) is one prolonged horror of pleasures. * Life (says the Slum) is Hunger. . Life (says the Moth) is what I shall feel in a moment in flame. yonder Life (says Ecclesi- astes) is a Vanity Box with nothing inside but a cracked mirror. . Life (says the Fatal- ist) is something that [ can't help and can't keep. . Life (says the Hu- Needle) is such an easy Haystack to get lost in! * man JANET MONTGOMERY “FLAGS TO PREVENT ENNUI If Sundays are made Prussian Blue And we've nothing whatever to do, We'll search out the cause Of the Indigo Laws And festoon a lamp-post or two! Life (says the Lifer) is an Inside Job, . Life (says the Insurance gent) may give you time to get your name on the dotted line here, if you hurry. . Life notion (says the Artist) has given me the for some of my best effects. Life (says the Frew. dian) is sin and s Life (says the Ado- lescent) is new neckties and longing and sh ness and impudence and passion Aippancy and flivvers and poetry and a dumb devil and petting parties and ado- and ration and egotism and self-distrust and ideal- ism and worship and ribaldry and_ indolence and ambition and the calling-down 1 got the Boss this morning, from . Life (says Charon) comes my way. . Life (says the Pagan) is its own ex- cuse. . Life (says the Old Man) is an error that | should love to repeat. . Life (says the Cow- ard) is something I lose a hundred times a day, because 1 fear so much to lose it. . Life (says the Hero) is the foam we blow off Life (says the Athe- ist) might be called one of the greatest mistakes of God, if there were a God. * Life (says Lothario) is dodging between a shotgun and a marriage license. * Life (says the Lounge Lizard) is just one lovely Parlor Snake after another. . Life (says David Wark Griffith) is a Life (says the Bride) is the recollection of yesterday's Honeymoon still gilding to-day’s Kitchenette—tra! Ja! la! . Life (says Methuselah) is all very well as far as it goes, but just as soon as one begins to learn how to live, why 2. . ! . Life (says the Mother) is something I have given, which the world will take. our beer in Valhalla. . Life (says the Newsdealer) cleverest periodical we sell. A Lesson to Him AFFERTY bored ten feet into a min- ing claim and then abandoned it. An- is the other took it up and at eleven feet struck gold. When Rafferty heard the news he exclaimed, “I'll never leave another claim until I've gone a foot further comicbooks.com