Life — March 24, 1921 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

UT Scissors Be AvT NuLLus Definition Two brawny men were discussing a mu- tual friend. One said: “ Naow, I tell yer, Bert aint no blinkin’ good. Worryin’ kind of blighter ‘e is.” The other agreed. “ Ho, yus. Bert is the kind of blowk that puts on a pair of gloves to do a job o’ work, an’ then does it wiv ‘is feet.”"—London Morning Post. Innuendo There were two convicts, one in for steal- ing a watch, the other for stealing a cow. They disliked each other, and their conver- sation was full of innuendo. Thus the man who had stolen the cow said to the man who had stolen the watch: “Jim, what time is it?” “ Milking time, Joe.”—Cottonyarns. “ Wnere can I put this suitcase?” “I'm sorry, old man, but the icebox is full."—Iowa Frivol. “ft poN’T KNOW WHY THEY HESITATE. IF I WERE A MAN AND SHOULD MEET A GIRL LIKE MYSELF, I'D ALREADY HAVE PROPOSED SIXTEEN TIMES.” —L’Esquella de la Torratra (Barcelona). In the Era of Billions How oft economy grows gay And boasts of its efficient work, When it has merely stopped the pay Of some two-thousand-dollar clerk! —Washington Star, The Dictator An indignant critic of a certain action of Congress rushed into the presence of Ses. ator Lodge with the excl: senator, that is purely ar ment.” The senator gazed at his caller fer a moment, then handed him this signifcax reply: “Sentiment, did you say? Tre enough, but then you know sentiment rules the world.”"—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Man's Magnanimity Tus Brute: What are you esying fr? His Herpaate: Because you beat me “All right, I forgive you."—Le Journal Amusant (Paris). Our Munificent Congress Anyway, the disabled soldiers are prob ably glad we didn't charge them anytbiag for the privilege of getting disabled —Nes- ville Tennessean, Lire is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. Title registered in U. S. Patent Office. $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.60 a year; to Canada, 80 cents. Single current copies, 15 cents. Back numbers, after three months from date of publication, 25 cents. Issues prior to 1910 out of print. The cext and illustrations in Lure are copyrighted, For Reprint Rights in Great Britain opply to Live, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Fetter Lane, London, E. C., England. The foreign trade supplied from Lire’s London Office, Rolls Hoa, Breams Buildings, London, E. C. Canadian distributor, J. R. Tanguy, 386-388 St. James Street, Montreal, Canada. No contributions will be returned unless accompanied ‘by stamped ond addressed envelope. Lire does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unsolicited contributions. Notice of change of address should reach this office two weeks prior ty the date of issue to be affected. TRANGE that Stetson alone seems able to interpret the smartness and high distinction of the current style. You have only to pull a Stetson snugly down on the forehead and look at yourself in the mirror to see what we mean. Style, Quality and Sound Money’s Worth assured by the Stetson Label in each Hat. JOHN B. STETSON COMPANY Philadelphia . Of Her Easter Gifts She Valued Most the Subscription to It meant pleasure to the entire family. Easter Giving is a pretty custom and one rarely carried to extremes, and Lire is a safe choice. Try it for a year, or, Obey That Impulse, and, for a trial trip, avail your- self of our Special Offer Enclosed find One Dollar (Canadian $1.20. Foreign $1.40). Send Live for three months—twelve issues—to Open only to new subscribers; no subscriptions renewed at this rate, LIFE, 17 West 31st Street, New York. One Year $5 Canadian $5.80 Foreign “6 comicbooks.com