Life — February 17, 1921 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

U R_ CONTEM OLISH Pont His Likeness The old and highly esteemed coachman of a family has at last resigned himself to a pension and a lodge-gate keeper's duties— if he is by no means resigned to the sight of the chauffeur who now reigns in his stead. The blow of the loss of his post has been softened slightly by the presentation of a handsome portrait, or, as he calls it, “ like- ness,” of himself, in full regalia, a pair of his favorite horses cavorting nobly under his whip. The old man is right well pleased with the effect, and so is his good dame, though, when questioned as to the portrait’s resemblance to her husband, her answer was somewhat equivocal. “ Very like,” she said, “but particular the buttons.” —London Morning Post. In a Pinch, use ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE An Old Word Dismissed “In the future we will have no thing as war.” “No,” agreed the grim scientist. “If my present experiments in lethal devices meet my hopes, we'll have something very much worse."—Washington Star. Tempered Symratuetic Visttor much-criticised art group): Really, I think | critics are horrid! Your things aren't nearly as bad as they're painted! —Passing Show (London.) Sure Relief such (to disciple of 6 BELLANS Hot water Sure Relief FOR Send for a Keg of pure, Unadulterated, Undoctored Grape Juice The pure juice of the grape just as it comes from the press. Send us $37.50 today fora 15-gallon keg and we will deliver it to you by express prepaid. Money refunded promptly if not entirely satisfied. References: Dun or Bradstreet. Write for prices on half-barrel or barrel lots. Address, Brocton Fruit Prod- INDIGESTION ucts Co., 11 Main St, Brocton, N. Y. GYPTIAN DEITIE “The Utmost in Cigarettes” Plain End or Cork Tip People of c ture and refinement invariably PREFERVW Deities other cigarette toan Sad, but Apparently True An indolent, unemployed pagan god Wrote some verses once. And isn’t it odd No one knows the name, nor a word can quote Of the idyl the idle idol wrote? —New York Sun. Positive Pleasure Two dentists were talking “ shop.” One remarked: “ My treatment is so painless that it often happens that my patients fall asleep while I am attending to their teeth.” The other dentist gave a shrug of his shoulders. “Pooh, pooh, my dear man! That is nothing!” he cried. “You should see my place with, all the latest improvements. Why, my patients nearly always ask me to send a message to fetch a photographer so that they can be photographed with the ex- pression of gladness which my patent dental treatment alone can give them.” —Answers (London). The Burden of Proof Advertisement in the Idaho Falls Reg- ister: A lady's leather handbag left in my car while parked on Park avenue two weeks ago. Owner can have same by calling at my office, proving the property and paying for this ad. If she will explain to my wife that I had nothing to do with its being there, I will pay for the ad. . Room or Ruffles? A woman entered a department store r cently and asked: “ Where is the lingerie? “D'ye mean the rest-room?" queried the salesgirl—Boston Transcript. deprecating From now on the ambition of the small boy will be to grow up to be a judge and get $42,000 a year for using an annual pzss to ball games.—Marion Star. Where the social life of New York centers by day and evening CLOSE TO ALL THEATRES AND SHOPS ey ALL SIZES MOTORS AND GENERATORS UP TO SH F Laermer tat Oot Sea ti don Seton to er ‘To the rhythmic swing of the paddles, an “Oud Town” sp along mile after mile—swiltiy, Sieatly. Tissot light that every stroke gets i2- stant nse. It will float in the shallowet water. Town Canoes" give years of service. ‘They are staunch and steady. Write for catalog. 3,000 canoes in stock. $71 up from dealer & factory. OLD TOWN CANOE COMPANY | 1132 Middle St.,Old Town, Maine, U.S. A- | comicbooks.com