Life — January 27, 1921 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Smile and the World Smiles With You Mike Y friend is Irish, through and through; He's fond of fun and fighting, And though he’s sentimental, too, His mood is often biting. He's self-conceited as can be, And yet it’s fair to mention He never yet has bothered me With passionate contention. We walk abroad and take the air In every sort of weather, The simple joys of life to share, Content to be together. Religion, or the wars of clans? He seems oblivious of them; I know he hates the “ Black and Tans,” But deems himself above them. His flag? I must admit, alack! (Not that it greatly matters) I've seen him take a Union Jack And tear it into tatters. Of all the friends I have possessed No truer, braver, merrier Has ever met the acid test Than Mike, my Irish terrier. Daly, in New York ning Post. Repartee —There had been a quarrel. “You're no lidy,” remarked the party of the first part. “Ah!” replied the other. “If it wasn’t that I was a lidy, p'raps I'd be able to tell you wot kind of a lidy you ain't."—London Morning Post, “ABOVE ALL, DON’T Go OUT WITHOUT PERMISSION. THE WOLVES WILL EAT you.” “OM, GRANDMA! THERE AREN'T ANY WOLVES ANY MORE. IT'S AUTO BANDITS now.’—Le Rire (Paris), Efficiency,—Mistress: under the carpet? Maid: Yes, mum! I sweep everything under the carpet—Kasper (Stockholm). Have you swept The Dawn of Reason — Small Boy: What's the use of washing my hands be- fore I go to school, mother? I'm not one of those who are always raising them !— Cartoons. Terms of Peace—He (after the quar- rel): Come on, kiss me and let’s forget all about it. - She: All right; but be careful not to disturb my rouge, and you'll have to buy me a new hat.—Sans Géne (Paris). Probably Both—“ Be careful of that woman, Jim—she’s dangerous.” “What do you mean? Has she got a husband she doesn’t want or hasn't she got one she does want?”—Pitt Panther. Down to Earth —Professor: have just discovered a new star! His Spouse: As if you couldn't spend your time better trying to discover me a cook!—-Le Journal Amusant (Paris). Felicia, I His Petition—“ Lord,” prayed the old colored brother, “don't send more bless- ings than I can take care of, but when they git a good start, an’ act like they want to keep coming, don’t stop ’em!"— Atlanta Constitution, Home Brew—"I can’t understand why people don’t come to church now. War widows, at least, ought to come!” “No, it’s through this spiritualism. They prefer to stop at home and chatter with their departed husbands!"—Exlex (Co- penhagen). Classification —“ Bennie says he is nobody's fool.” "“T know, but some one will get him yet."—Youngstown Telegram. Beanborough The Point of View — Doctor: I have just seen your husband, He is in splendid condition for his age. Frivolous Wife: Yes, doctor, but not for mine.—Le Journal Amusant (Paris). Too Little Mustard—“ Why did Tom quit the photographer's daughter after all these months?” “He says he’s been calling four times a week, and she hasn't gotten half through the picture album = yet."—Brown Jug (Brown University). “ DOES YOUR UNION AUTHORIZE YoU TO at 2 S$, BUT ONLY TO SING OFF xey.”—Le Journal Amusant (Paris). Business Is Business—Wife: Now, dear, here’s the doctor to see you. Merchant Prince (irascibly) : Send him away and fetch the undertaker! You know I never deal with middlemen !— Passing Show (London). mammy.' you is gettin’ like yoh father.” —Boston Transcript. A Holesale Business— Customer: But do you really refund the price of these hose if they fail to prove holeproof? Salesman: My dear madam, we do it every day!—New York World. Back for Another —“You did me a favor ten years ago,” said the stranger, “ond I have never forgotten it.” “Ah,” replied the good man with a grateful expression on his face; “and you have come back to repay me?” “Not exactly,” replied the stranger “T've just got into town and need another favor, and I thought of you right away.” —Detroit Free Press. The Tramp de Luxe—Jones: What did you feed that tramp for? Why did you encourage him in his shiftlessness? Mrs. Jones: Well, he looked so cok and hungry in his silk shirt and low shoes I just couldn't refuse him.—Kansas Cit) Star. A Mind Reader —“ Are you Dr. Smith?” “No, but I know where we can get some.”—Arizona Phenix, comicbooks.com