Life, 1920-12-30 · page 32 of 39
Life — December 30, 1920 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several distinct pieces of humor and content: **"Beansey's Happy New Year"** is a lighthearted poem by Frederic Dorr Steele offering comic New Year's wishes *to a dog*—hoping for bones, freedom from chains and muzzles, escape from police, and modest tax burdens. It's anthropomorphic humor treating a dog as a citizen with recognizable grievances. **"The Puzzle"** is a domestic joke identifying "the mother" or worried wife—the figure who interrogates a person sneaking downstairs at night with endless anxious questions (burglars? fire? gas leaks?) but never asks the obvious practical one: "Are you thirsty?" The humor lies in exposing the absurdity of anxious overthinking. **"Save the Poe Cottage!"** reports a fundraising campaign to preserve Edgar Allan Poe's home in Fordham, New York, with reader donations acknowledged. **"Not Quite"** is a brief joke about old-fashioned slate—supposedly obsolete but still used in coal bins. The cartoon shows an anxious guest uncomfortably seated while the hostess inquires about comfort; the guest won't honestly complain due to social politeness.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Beansey’s Happy New Year HOPE you'll have a good supply— (A dog may send a New Year greet- ing )— Of bones and things, and never dic Of overeating. I wish a snug, soft bed for you Where you may sleep till ten, or later. I hope they'll never chain you to The radiator. May you escape the watchiul cop; May no unchastened kitty scratch you. I hope that Vengeance with a Mop Will never catch you. lf you are sore on everyone And weary of life's pesky puzzle, I hope they'll Iet you take a run Without your muzzle. I hope you'll have a nice, soft collar As handsome as mine is, or nearly— And only have to pay a dollar In taxes yearly. Frederic Dorr Steele. Puzzle HO is it that, when she hears you sneaking downstairs in the night, always calls after you and asks: Is there a burglar in the hous Is the house on fire? Do you smell gas? Did you: leave a light burning? Has the plumbing burst? Did you forget to put out the cat? Did you forget to lock the front door? Can't you sleep? Don’t you feel well? but never thinks to ask the real question: Are you thirsty? HE ashes of love are usually put in a divorce case. LIFE Save the Poe Cottage! have many admirers of Edgar Allan Poe com- mending us for our attempt to save his home in Fordham, New York, but the following communication is, perhaps, the received letters from most eloquent of all: To tHe Eprrox oF Lire. Sir: I notice you plea in Live to save the home of Edgar Poe. Would say, “that Iam a great admirer of “ Poe,” and am willing to give a small amount to save the place, but I would want to feel that I could get my contribution back, if the progic should fail. If 1 should ever visit your citty, that is one place I would want to visit. I am a poor man but willing to give some. Res. C. A. Hooxs. Oxford Fla. We hasten to reassure Mr. Hooks, and all other readers who are interested, that, if the “ progic” should fail, all the money which is contributed to the Poe Cottage Fund through this magazine will be re- turned to the original donors. However, we are out to guarantee that the “ progic” shall not fail—that the necessary twenty thousand dollars shall be raised, and the cottage saved as a permanent memorial to America’s most brilliant genius. Every- one who appreciates the remarkable beauty and power of Poe's writings should con- The Overpowering Hostess: tribute to this fund, and we are quite sure that everyone will. The following gifts are knowledged : gratefully ac- ham Manor .. Total . Previously 106.1¢ teeeeeeeee $114.64 LIFE'S Title Contest HE judges of Lire’s $1,000.00 title con- test present their compliments and beg to announce that their work is nearly finished. They will have an important an- nouncement to make in next week's issue. With the first appearance of Lire for the new year, we will publish the date on which the prizes will be awarded. This issue will appear on January 6th. \\\\ It had been hoped that the announce- ment could be made sooner. The judges regret that this was impossible, owing to the large number of replies received from contestants. Not Quite “THE old-fashioned slate pletely gone out.” “Not quite. It's still used in coal bins.” has com- Il] ARE YOU QUITE COMFORTABLE IN THAT CHAIR? Trembling Guest: NO—bUT 1 WOULDN'T DARE SAY 1 WASN'T! XUM comicbooks.com