Life — December 23, 1920 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1172 An Indoor Sporting Event “I HATE to say anything unkind about any woman,” said Wilber, “especially when she happens to be an occasional member of my own family, but I'll bet almost anything that when it comes to continuous discourse over the telephone my wife would take first prize, all classes, in any verbal show.” “1 dislike very much to dispute the dictum of a high-class gentleman like yourself,” said Hopeson, “but I'll bet you fifty dollars that in a fair and even contest, Marquis of Queensbury or any other rules, my wife can give yours a million words start and walk in.” “I'll go you, my boy, and the first time my wife calls up, I'll put the watch on her if it takes all night, and you'll trus me. I'll write the record on paper, and you do the same, and we'll compare the time at our next meeting. “Done!” Two days after Wilber triumphantly drew from his pocket his paper. he said. “Can you beat it? Three hours “My dear boy,” replied Hopeson, “don’t you know they were talking to cach other? It’s a draw.” . OW much coal are you burning this year? “Oh, about one out of every three pieces Ih alts o Little Girl (looking with marked approval at picture of herself taken by playmate): WFLL, nOBRY, 1 DON'T THINK 17's VERY NICE, BUT (consolingly) OF COURSE CAN'T TELL WHETHER IT’S LIKE ME, AS I'M BEHIND MY FACE spRE Leer that made Milwaukee famous has been put into museum. But Milwaukee is still at large, eae Intended for hotel kitchens is a novel English device, operated by a crank.—Baltimore American. It's about time cranks were given regular employment. eee Complicated calculation of the flow of liquids through pipes has been made easy by the invention of a simple slide rule It used to be made even easier by the employment of a still simpler cash register. ary The costume of a native East India woman consists of a piece of cheesecloth eight yards long. A modern daughter of the West wants to know what she does with the other seven and a half yards. - eee “It would be folly for us to invade Mexico,” says an ¢ torial, “unless it becomes absolutely nece: The contention being sary for us to do ased, doubtless, on the old adage that necessity is the mother of intervention. eee The book reviewer in Hearst's New York American says of Potterism, by Rose Macaulay, our enemies.” We recommend the book to Perhaps that is why it has had such a large sale. see A parrot in London recently laid its first egg at the age of thirty-six. At that rate, we'll only have to wait twenty-nine years for a little action from our pet hen eee More than half of the American soldiers blinded in the world war have already been trained for living and earning without their sight at the Red Cross Institute for the Blind near Baltimore, Md. wes itém, If the Committee for the Rehabilitation of Wounded Sol- diers waits long enough, it can undoubtedly have the rest of its work done by the Red Cross. Attention, Shipping Board!—Too many wartime ideals ap- pear to have been only deals. see Charles A, Garland, the young man who gained wide editorial publicity by spurning a million dollars, must constantly be think- ing of the good things that he might have done with his in- heritance if he hadn't been so hasty. For example, he would only have needed a fiftieth part of the rejected sum to save Edgar Allan Poe's home, in Fordham, N. Y., as a gift of inestimable value to future generations. Going Him One Better es CYNIC: We men despise the modern intellectual women. Sue: Indeed! What you really mean is, that you hate women to hecome so intellectual that they discover just how unintellectual men are, comicbooks.com