Life — December 23, 1920 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1178 Any Motorist to His Mrs. M’ That, were it something I could do, 1 vow I'd step right up and kiss it And yet th In our bright sunlight keeps appearing, Which tells me, when we me dear, the confidence which you Repose in me is so implicit, shadow of a doubt ou That you mistrust my charioteering My steady hand upon the wheel And nimble feet among the pedals Would make a man less modest feel Like decking his fagade with medals. But when we twain together ride, In spite of all my dashing skill, you Behave as if you thought that I'd Deliberately planned to kill you I know, before the words are born, in places, What you will say at cer Of how IT ne And how insanely fast my pace is. “r blow my horn I know you'll point out every tree As if it harbored Death, the Reaper, Implying that you drive with me Because you think [ nec a keeper. As prophets in their own demesnes Are usually underrated, So hushands in their own machines Are similarly estimated And though I cannot feel delight To have you thus my prowess question, I recognize your wifely right To auto-critical suggestion “HERE COMES MY FIANC YES, BUT HE MUST SALLY HAVE CHANGED A LOT. ~-LIFE. But one thing really must be said, And memorized with great precision, To wit, that if you fll my head With all these ideas of collision, Some day there'll be a smash, | know— And if we both come safely through it, And you remark, “I told you so,” I'l counter with “ You drove me to it” ;. Chappell. Higher Mathematics INCE January, tytg, a total of res of land has been acquired in Eng- land and Wales for theuseofe: The combined Wales is 58,3 United Stat square miles— 07 “servicemen England and 4 square miles. That of the (continental) is 3,025,640 little over fifty-one times Manifesting a mild form of in- sanity, we suggest that there are 12,903,- 33 acres (31 X 007) of United States soil for the use of ex-service men of the American army. Y fortunate. area of as much Destiny RS ago a baby born with a silver its mouth spoon in was considered But now one born with curly hair is luckier. He becomes a movie star in time VE got to drop everything and go to the train to meet my aunt.” “The rich aunt “Well, she’s rich cnough to meet.” ISN'T HE HANDSOME?” WHEN YOU DESCRIBED HIM TO ME LAST WEEK, HE WAS SHORT AND STOUT.” Un-English English WISH somebody would consult a oui board and find out why it is that many of those who are writing Englis don't stick to English and don't obey t) laws of English. Perhaps a ghost from out the past could explain the strang craving that half-educate and the over-educated to deck their words obsesses the in foreign frills; and even those who are truly educated fall from grace now in. Here, for example, is Miss Caro- lyn Wells, who has just edited a welcom, Book of Humorous Verse and who is therein moved to call the nee dexes which make her compilation moré Now inde. and w ssary in- casily consultable, indices. a good, honest English ) should its sturdy Englishry be disguised by inflicting on it a Latin plural? And campus is a good, honest English word, word which for now nearly a century | heen used here in America as a name i the grounds in which the buildings of college are Nobody campus as an exotic vocable, But not ld a thinks of situated ago I was grieved, pained, irritated and disgusted to read in the columns of New York E college presidents frequenting the campi Campi? Gosh! I thought that fora an stadia were the ultimate limit of pedantic affcetation, but campi—well, campi— [I can't finish the sentence to my satisfac- tion, as my vocabulary is not equal to it.] In this same New York Evening Post, once edited by William Cullen Bryant, I recently read a headline about a new hoard walk at Coney Island, part of the cost of which was to be borne by con- cessionaires. Why should not this con- ening Post a remark about tribution be made by the concessionari Why should anyone gallicize concession- ary into concessionaire and not gallicize missionary into missionaire? Perhaps that will also gladden my eyes in the sweet by-and-by. Perhaps somebody will start a Society for the Supply of Missionaires to Cannibal Countries. B. M. Progress? RIEND: What do you think of these modern business methods ? Ow Man: Rot! ‘. in my time we'd have a cyclone, a flood and a fire all at once, and we'd keep on doing business just the same; and nowadays if some minor clerk loses a card from the index-file it ties up the whole establishment. Retirep Business Ss RS. HATTERSON: Mrs. Catterson: Shopping? No. Buying. comicbooks.com