Life — December 16, 1920 — page 38: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

UR_ F ° oO L 1 s pil CONTEMPO*ARIES Political Forecasts The next President of the United States will be considered a fat-head or worse by at least forty per cent. of the population. The next Congress will be accused of ignorance, greed and extravagance. It will be announced four years from now that what we need is a business administra- tion Ninety per cent, of the pre-election prom- ises of candidates will not be fulfilled, but then remember what they are, anyw Taxes will continue high. Talk will continue cheap. —Worcester T most of the voters won't Ambiguous “Do Englishmen understand American Some of them do. Why?" “My daughter is to be married in London, and the earl has cabled me to come across.” —Boston Transcript Well, come on Why don't you propose to me? Svitor: My dear, don't let’s talk busi ness.—Le Rire (Paris). : Fiarrer (nouveau riche) Daddy will be back soon now, Peggy dear, with some nice KEMPS BALSAM Then you can go to sleep and forget that horrid old cough.” But why not save poor old dad the night trip to the drug store next time by having an extra bottle of Kemp's Balsam in the house all ready for bi and little coughs alike. Get a bottle now. " Cuticura Soap — The Healthy — Shaving Soap Coticurs Scap shaves without mag. Everywhere: At best dealer. Purely Hypothetical “Pap,” said the colored youth like you to expatiate on de way dat graph wor “Dat’s easy man, “Hit dawg big ‘nuf so his head co ting an’ his tail in New Yo tromp on his tail in New Yo'k he'd bark in Bosting. Understan’, Rastus?” “Yes, pap! But telegraph? For a moment the old man was stumped Then he de same dawg am Ah'd +e tele- said the old f de ¢ was a ‘auf, Rastus,”” am like dis. jd be in Bos den ef you how am de wireless answered easily: “ Jess prezactly wid de exception dat de —Tit-Bits. Rastus, *maginary Weights and Measures st Maxacer: I'm fed up with these movie Young Cecil Legrand is just the limit. Srcoxp stars. Manacex: What's the matter now? First Manacer: He wants me to put on a play he’s written in which he’s featured as a heavyweight champion in the first part and a winning jockey in the second. —Columbia (S. C.) State. An Arkansas Editor's Apology The Thomas Cat is not up to its regular high standard this weck owing to the fact we have spent nearly the blamed week writing an intellectual for Leo Giles’s farm paper on the scbject of “ The Inhumanity of Dehorning Hydraulic Rams.” —Arkansaw Thomas Cat. whole wad Economy Tur Maxkiep Man (fo friend): I tell you this in all frankness. My wife and I have calculated we can save at least one hugieed dollars a month by not th friends stay insisting Merely an Insult Henry, you Don't worry—he had have min over a man!” Iready been r he car ahead of us!” Tae ~LOMORROW Meatter Proohet tore Handsome, retable and eve An Ideal Xmas Gift te D}] Mate doubiy interesting Agents Wanted Dui wiite: Deptt eit 419 E. Water St, Mie 19 | TEMPLE TOURS * while you sleep” Best Laxative for Men, Women and Children. 10, 25, 50c—drugstores. comicbooks.com