Life — December 16, 1920 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

In Terra Pax SEASON of Good-will, you lack The gladness that was once your tale; Some Censor holds the message back— To follow by a later mail. And we must be content to know The gift shall come, though it be late: We love you for the Long Ago— And for the Peace on Earth, we wait Arthur L. Salmon. Re Relatives JR family is very uninteresting. We have no cians, grass widows or geniuses. We travel, but we return to the same place. We never roll in wealth, nor do we grovel in poverty; the wolf ses our door, and in passing, wags his in amiable, Elderly uncles dodder silver showers accompany the reading of their wills, There's no mortgage on the old place, nor are there any landscape garden- thumbs at its not-too-faith ful defaulters, _politi- always doggish way. and dic, but no ers throwing (Alfred, the would shy at anything so exotic as a con- tour. Even our Australian pheasants are upon his credulity. Them pheenixes!” he mutters.) We do not embezzle, and, sad to state, we do not dazzle. Quite different is the family of my friend Horatio Gat- ty. There's a family that is a family! It is numerous, ubiqui- contours. servitor, a strain tous and opportune. Whenever ex- citement is going on, one of the Gattys any is right there to sce and hear it all. Horatio will tell Wasn't Hora- grandmother sitting-in the front row at Ford's The- atre the night Presi- dent Lincoln you, tio’s was assassinated? (On that particular night practically the entire house was bought out by grandmoth- ers.) Grandma Gatty what might be called a has “THAT'S ALL RIGHT, EARLY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING Puritan: BEADS FOR ALL THIS LAND ALONG THE RIVER pointillistic memory, but she never will forget how Edwin Booth shouted, “ Hic hace hoc—huius leaped across the stage with ribbons on his spurs. Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night and seems to hear him declining in a blood-curdling tone, or conjugating in a cold, passive voice, and only a couple of years ago she remem- bered that he spoke with a decidedly Ger- man accent. It was one of the earlier Gattys—Pre- served Gatty, I think (Horatio will tell huius huius!” as he ‘ TO SUPPER, ETHEL?” “THANKS, VERY KI COT STUCK.” YES, I'LL GIVE YOU BOTH STRINGS OF 'D OF YOU TO ASK MF.” HILLY AN? ME MATCHED TO SEF WHO'D ASK YOU, AN’ T No Hope ARLEY’S ghost had just paid his annual Christmas call on his old partner. Shaking his head sadly the shade de- parted. ‘0 use,” he moaned. “I reformed him once, but this time the wretch is past repentance.” For Scrooge had turned food profi- teer. you), a cabin passenger on the May- flower, who selected the landing place of th And it was a still earlier Gatty—the Earle of Pilgrims. teye himself, I believe Horatio said, hight odfrey, who contracted nervous in- digestion at the battle of Hastings. It seems that during luncheon, when it was wassail all in the great hall, someone took Godfrey's helmet by mistake, leaving in its stead a large pewter affair, size 734 Godfrey, who wore a seven and was do- lichocephalic to boot, had to wear it all ternoon, though it made him the laugh- ing-stock of Hastings. As he was lead- ing his troops into battle, he looked over his shoulder to see if any of them were following, and when he turned his head to the front again, the helmet didn’t turn. It had stuck, visor to the rear, Unable to see, he lost control of his horse, and they both over a The mess, plunged precipice. horse was a but Godfrey saved by his He lowed a rivet, how: suffered which was armor. swal- ever, and subsequently: is the worst way to suffer, after all The foregoing in- cident has been em- balmed zoned on the Gatty coat-of-arms: versed helmet argent over a and embla- a re- deceased horse squashant on a field of gules. But it and waste of time to at- tempt to make you properly appreciate the Gatty family through the printed page. It is more effective j (Cont, on page would be, has been, a much comicbooks.com